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JPiC Senior Moderator Extraordinaire
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Real Name: Kimberley D. Robinson
Last Online: Today 07:10 AM
Location: PA
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Join Date: Jun 23 2006
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Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Dear Therese,
Although Mr. Alan, and Ms Jacquii are the experts in this category, I will attempt a small critique.
First and foremost, the poem is definitely an ode to New York, filled with New York, at its best. I loved reading it, and I felt like I learned more about New York as well. It felt like a fun poem to put together as well.
I know we are in the forum for serious critique for publication purposes, and there are a few things that I noticed. Perhaps the length needs to be looked at. Perhaps also the structure could be refined as it seems to play on the flow of the poem. I LOVE all the content in the poem, and feel none of that should be extracted, just maybe put in a more aesthetic format. Mr. Alan, and Ms Jacquii, can help with that. The imagery is masterful in the poem, and so New York!!!!!! I loved this piece Therese, and I am sorry for I am not very good at critiquing. But from a layman's point of view, those two things are what I did happen to notice.
{{~~**Painted Kim**~~}}
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