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Hi Alan.
Thank you for critiquing the poem. I have changed my original post and included most of your suggestions. Those I did not change I have noted in red text, simply for your information. Feel free to critique any of my poetry. As always, if a change does not seem to fit for me.....I simply do not change. But where I see a definite improvement, in my way of thinking, I will so change. Thanks again and feel free to comment.
Sartor
I BLEED RED, WHITE AND BLUE
From the hot Sonora Desert,
where the tall saguaro grows,
to the northwest Cascade Mountains, (I have difficulty reading it as Northwest‘s)
where the great Columbia flows,
from the lobster traps in Boston,
where the cold nor’easter blows,
to the rugged Rocky Mountains,
dressed in frozen winter snows.
I deeply love this land of plenty,
her beauty I imbue, (complete new line)
if they ever cut me open,
I will bleed red, white and blue!
I’ve served beneath her banner,
in both peacetime and in war,
fighting to preserve our freedoms, (will keep preserve, next line starts with keeping)
keeping tyranny from the door.
If my country calls me forward, (complete new line)
I will gladly go once more.
Someday I know I’ll follow,
those old comrades gone before.
If they need some patriotism,
tap my veins before I’m through,
then stand by for a flood of love,
I bleed red, white and blue!
Whether she’s standing at the gale,
or floating on the breeze,
or snapping in an autumn wind,
it sets my heart at ease
to see Old Glory on parade,
or through a vale of trees,
and on a solders uniform,
it never fails to please.
As this old Veteran proudly stands,
allegiance I renew,
just ask and I will give my blood,
for I bleed red, white and blue.
Sartor
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