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Thread: Like A Phoenix (I Am Painted Diary)

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04-13-2007, 02:48 PM

post #2

nomadicrhymer

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this may not be the place for this...but re-reading this piece, to me it seems superfluous to have the "and" in the last lines of the stanza...and I think you've gone back and forth with this already? I might be wrong...but "so I rise..." works on it's own and is more succinct....last lines could be "I've burned. (period) then "I will rise...."?

All in all though, this piece is still as strong and declaratively owning perseverance and pride as when I first read it.

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