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Hi Sartor,
A thoughtful, well-executed poem. I’ve just a couple of things you might consider.
In S1, L3 ‘ebb’ would keep consistent with ‘flood’. The repetition of ‘ebb’ in L5 could perhaps be avoided with ‘recede’. In S1, L8, something on the lines of a fish, a dolphin, in a net would keep the watery theme, though a change to the rhyme in L5 would also be needed. S2 still keeps in with that.
S3, L6 ‘dimmering’ is a new word to me and I’m sure you could find an alternative.
You play out the metaphor well. Nicely done.
Terence
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