Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJacquiiC
Hey MS KIM  -- I absolutely LOVE the premise of this! I can see how it's a "very rough draft" too though  --- The idea though is so interesting - I think though the main element is missing though in this 1st diary entry - The vampirism aspect! It'd be awesome to see that right up front (but I think - Perhaps you're saving that to weave into the next entry???)
Another - is the tense - Need to keep the tense sorted - Perhaps all the text can be past tense - since it is a reflection on what happens... Not quite sure about this idea though LOL
Nice 1st draft - I like and will definitely be looking forward to the other entries - And especially interested in the next edits!
Jacquii. |
Ms Jacquii for taking time to read and comment!!!!!
Ms Jacquii...you not only read my mind, but gave advice on the points I struggled with the most! I did think to have that "Vampire" element in the first diary entry and now that you mentioned it...I will edit and include.
Yes, I was saving it for the 2nd Diary entry...you know me well..as well as the name "Dali"...lol! Also...for some reason I got confused and struggled with "tense"...actually "tense" always is a problem of mine...(but don't tell...oh I just did...lol...j/k).
I am so glad you said "a reflection"...that puts everything into perspective for me and yes....should be in past tense!!
I was struggling whether to have the series read as a "reflection" or have Sascha write in her diary daily, recording her feelings and events as she was going through the last 6 days.
I very much want this series polished for publication, and I am most grateful for you taking time to read and for your advice. I will return with some editing!
Kim
