PD...wonderful tale, as usual...I look forward to some gory additions! (grin) This is going to turn out to be one of your best, because of the build up in this Entry#1 and the fact that we have absolutely no clue what turns it will take...do you? lol!
Some suggestions on things I noticed: (to implement or ignore, of course!!
1.
attempting more, this track This should be two sentences...so period after "more". It might even flow better with "I'm attempting another."
2.
prerequisite to seek out I think that "to seek
ing out" would sound better.
3.
condescending, and only focused on "condescending,
but rather very
focused on...
4.
client’s shoes. After having pluralized
clients' above, you need to do the same here.
5. Just a personal thing for me...it seems like it would be a little smoother changing this:
vital in my awareness of how I perceived myself, to this:
vital
to my perception of myself,
6.This sentence seems a bit unwieldy to me...maybe too many commas?
However, I was not prepared for the path I was forced to take, that forever changed my life.
Try this: I was very unprepared for the path I was forced to take that subsequently changed my life.
7.
craved for a glimpse Here the "for" is not necessary. The sentence should be "craved a glimpse"
8.This sounds just a bit strange to me...
showed me how I should get to know either "showed me
that I should get to know" or "showed me how to get to know"
Looking forward to Entry #2...Woohoo!
Nomad
