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Old 08-07-2008, 09:49 AM
  post #5
JeffMeyer
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Real Name: Jeff Meyer
Last Online: 10-31-2008 09:28 AM
Location: Southwest Ohio
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Biography: I'm just a guy, HAPPILY married ten years (thank you--throw money, not flowers) with three kids tryin' to get by on a wage that stays the same in a world where prices simply don't. (You know the story). I love the out-of-doors, and in-of-books. I am a wordsnob and a vocabulary geek; I have a very off-kilter sense of humor based mostly in liguistics and the appreciation of the non-sequiter.
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Thief:

Your poem follows a standard course of pining for lost love, and is predictible in that vein. (Wow! This guy's mean!)

On the contrary, actually. I quite liked the poem for the element that is not standard or stock at all: lines 8 and 9 give the reader pause and make one wonder at the true meaning here. How could the subject have never been TRULY here, implying he/she had been here in some sense. Online relationship gone awry? A crush on which no action was ever taken? Perhaps a child lost in utero?

The possibilities opened by those two lines take a normal language, in a recognizable and identifiable pattern, and make it inot a personally unique emotional statment.

So in the end, it's really a compliment. Good job!

--Jeff Meyer
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