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This story reads to me like with it being written from the homeless man's perspective that he is in this kind of dream-like, drunk induced state where reality is kinda twisted around him. Especially with some of the images with him dealing with the bottle. I took this story on, with your explanations about it and understanding where it is coming from and such with it in that kind of light of being in this kind of crazy state of being awake yet you feel like you are still asleep and can't quite feel things.
Now, I must admit that if I didn't read your short intro to this piece and read it inside of something I wouldn't quite know what to think and would be a little confused as to what is happening and why the images work like they do. This does read more like prose to me or a poem with some of the line breaks and images. Which would be pretty revolutionary to me but I have come across something like this in a literary journal before, I believe. With this same kind of snap shots kind of way of doing things.
I do have to admit that if I didn't know the intro I'd probably go maybe a little sci-fi with this piece. I like this though and it was interesting to read something like this that kind of defies a convential method and is like these snapshots into someone's life. I could feel the kind of drunken tone to it that I've felt when I've come quite close of being drunk of this really altered reality.
What I found so interesting when I'm reading this story is that for a time I went down into the city and came across a lot of homeless people that I got used to seeing and I really began to wonder what their lives were like, what they did, and how they thought. This is what fascinated me about your piece is that you look into this and with knowing at least 3-4 homeless people I always saw I became quite interested in them myself.
Overall, I enjoyed this piece. Sometimes the grammar would sound a little strange with some sentences and this part did confuse me a little.
How much for a magnum?
“ghondumz gotta reel big dick. hee hee, “he said, pointing to his penis.
“he wondtza vortee,” the other one said, walking away.
“dzeven units phleace.”-
I was a little confused who was doing the talking, who was the other people talking, and if he was asking how much for a magnum, if he was there asking for it, ect. What I picture for this was maybe some homeless people standing in front of the entrance and talking to each other. So, this was my idea and thoughts for this part.
Overall, I liked the artistic appeal of this piece and I thought this was definitely very interesting. Anywho, thank you for sharing this and keep on writing! I'd certainly read along too if you decide to post more to it.
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