Poetry in Color Forum - View Single Post - Live for the Moment
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:35 AM
  post #3
Lycan
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Real Name: Adam Parker
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Biography: Hi I love writing poetry and have won a couple of internet comps. I like heavy metal music, horror movies, cycling and weight lifting just to name a few of my interests.
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I agree with erikestabrook. The double "that" needs rectifying.

It tends to slow the message a little for the reader and the message is so important, one can not expect anyone else to love them if they don't already love themself.

Apart from that one typo, great effort



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