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Wow, DP! That was one amazing ride.
I like the similes and methaphors you used, the choice of language, and the nostalgic feel of this.
"Homelessness continues to hang out like bats."
Beautiful. Sad too.
"It is twilight in the city as God’s “son” begins to light up the dark midnight sky that was illuminated by his “daughter” the moon. "
I like your usage of son and daughter in those lines. It gave it this mystical feel.
"I turn on the TV to see the morning news and I hear the percussive beat of an angry lover’s fists and feet thudding and smacking another lover’s limbs, lips and cheeks.
I can imagine in my mind the woman’s soprano like cries in harmony with that of Bosch’s plant whistle."
Great lines. Very strong.
The beginning of this was extremely good. It set the tone of the piece. It had this story-telling quality which I always like.
This was good, DP.
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