~Serenity~

A Prayer... Of Sorts
The colors have all faded
My sights become so jaded
My smile is so freaking fake
This pain I just can't take

Yes I bleed to check and see
If there's still a heart in me
Why can't you believe what I've become
After all I've seen and done

I don't want your stupid sympathy
I'll just return it with icy apathy
You don't want to help, you stupid liar
Too bad you can't put out this fire

Too bad for you it's already out
See the faded smile covering my pout
I gave up oh so long ago
How long it's been I just don't know

Now it's all a twisted game
You all act so the-goddamn-same
I twist your little minds around
And my reality is never found

The reality that I live alone
Would curl hair and shatter bone
Darkness, pain, and devastation
No trust, no hope, just molestation

But blindly day by day
You live, you laugh, you play
While inside, alone, I cry
And wish I could just fucking die

I won't let you look inside
To point and laugh or maybe chide
I don't want your f**king 'cure,'
Not from you, so fakely pure

I'd rather die than live your way
In fact, can I die anyway
To leave this amazing unbearable pain
Let loose the lightning with the rain

There's nothing left to hold me here
Why the hell do I still hold tears
When all I want is a slice away
Save the pain for another life, another day

Why the heck can't I get out
Instead I'm left to scream and shout
Kicking and screaming, sanity in danger,
No outlet for pain except my anger.

Do you see it now, the reason for my badness
It's a side-effect of this f**king madness
Swirling around inside my soul
So Lord, if you're reading, just let me go.
~Serenity~

I wrote this a long time ago... Had to edit before I posted it on here... I don't think aunt Tree would like it the way it originally was lol! Just posted because I felt SO much better after getting it out! And feedback is always nice - hard to critique my own emotions afterall.