Hi,
Well I like the piece..It's interesting and mysterious with plenty of vivid imagery and rich language..I think it could be trimmed a little of superfluos stuff to aid flow and mood..and some cosmetic changes for presentation..Here's a few
suggestions (title too..he he..)..Take from it what you will..k..here goes..^__^
Gracious Birth
I seem to be a malcontent;
My restless eyes scan East
Across plains and beyond hills
While night beats down
Where the past surrenders
To the winding Earth.
Then the throes of agony
Create the day.
There is some irony
In such a gaze upon the past,
Hurrying tomorrow--
Some parallel to every warriors'
Pleading for a Coup De Grace
To set it all apart.
There's the I-ness I forever own,
The consciousness we share
I may never dare renounce.
No darkening wisdom here,
Likewise no flashing joy
From the transition.
There's no spirit reticence,
No fear of time or death
Nor loss. Not for me
The sunset of a cross,
The tumbrel ride
Back from a guillotine;
The East draws me
Through the night
And may within its grace
Requite the day with yet another
Gracious birth.
