Dear Ms Jacquii,
I to(too) am not an editor, however, I felt the editor's comments were (only in my opinion) not on point. Hell, I am still trying to expand my horizons in this craft! I felt the editor's comments took away from the message, from the meat of your original. I loved the original as well. I find this revision to be wonderfully executed, with the message in place. The poem is very vivid, passionate, expressive, and fluent. Tells the audience about your experienced "character" if you will as an individual, and as a master craftswoman in writing. Please do enter this in contests, and keep us informed. I marvel in your range, your execution, your articulation, and how you are able to make your audience "feel" the words painted. Bravo Ms Jacquii.
Painted
