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WEll, my critque of this is, if you are trying to play with words to create chaos, in my opion, you just did. If it was done intentionally, you did a great job, for that's what I see. But for the reader, it's not something for me anyway, to get anything out of. Perhaps you had some kind of deep meaning here, and if so, I would suggest, using just one line, to lead the reader to it, then leave the rest of the rambling.
hope that helps,
Barbarea
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