Below the Belt

My mother made a comment hitting way below the belt and extremely hurtful... she brought up the poor cat that was hurt by me walking my horse. I haven't stopped thinking of that cat since the accident and though it's actually okay, and amazingly it has healed up okay, I still think about what happened all the time.

I was so upset, I burst into tears, and then she pretty much snarles at me and leaves the car. Well, I couldn't stand being in the same house with her after the comment she made and I drove the car over to where there is this pond and parked the car and sat there for hours and hours.

And, I discovered that my mother can't feel anything really if she's caused someone's pain. She treats them like their emotions are disgusting and she thinks that with all the things she buys, this, that, that how could anyone complain about something she's done? But, she stepped waaay over the line, and at first I felt sad, horrible, then I felt anger, and now I just feel...

I don't know, I kind of realize I can't change her and any anger is wasted on her. She hurt me and treated me like I was disgusting because I cried in front of her, but that's her problem that she can't sympathize because she's the person who hurt me. It's her problem that she can't feel for someone when they're sad.

I don't know why she had to say something so hurtful like she did. But she doesn't get how it could hurt me so much so there's no use to try to get her to understand.