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    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » Creative Traditional

Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
Tanka

6,198 Miles Away
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Old 06-10-2007, 04:11 PM
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6,198 Miles Away
Glorious sunrise
On white crosses in the sand
Casts morning shadows
Dreamers neither hear nor see
The toll of dreams turned nightmare.
Last edited by Terence; 06-10-2007 at 04:39 PM.
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Old 06-10-2007, 04:36 PM
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Interesting...
i have no clue what this is supposed to be ( i mean, what form, since it is in creative traditional) but it is good.

sad at the end tho....



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Old 06-10-2007, 04:57 PM
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Thanks for your response, Anna. It is a Tanka form, like an extended Haiku but with a slightly different concept with the additional lines. (The description somehow got lost when reviewing.)

It seems like I've been on two different themes lately.

Terence
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Old 06-29-2007, 06:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terence View Post
Glorious sunrise
On white crosses in the sand
Casts morning shadows
Dreamers neither hear nor see
The toll of dreams turned nightmare.
Hey TERENCE - this is the 2nd poem I've read of yours this evening... This poem is a bit of deepness - no word wasted. Topic is quite serious, as I'm one who believes that in my dreams, safety is abundant. Never did like those nightmares though...

But dwelving a little deeper in to your poetic words - the prowess IS seen. Starts with beautiful image of glorious sunshine... Moves on to show the sunshine is reflecting off of white crosses ---- The vivid imagery is actually stunning... The "casts morning shadows" --- The uneasy feeling.... Then the last couplet

I do tend to wonder if your message is that some would rather stay in the "dream" - rather than welcomed to the dilemma of life. Interesting write no doubt - Look forward to the next one

Jacquii.



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Old 06-30-2007, 11:00 PM
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Hi MsJacquii,
There can be any number of interpretations to my poem. If you combine the homonyms of 'morning' with the the multiple definitions of 'shadows' and 'casts', you'll see what I mean. My own intention was of a topical, political meaning.

Thanks for the read and your thoughtful response.

Terence
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Old 06-30-2007, 11:10 PM
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Terence,

I have to agree with Ms J you word placement is superb and not only do you paint the picture well but you reach in and grab this readers emotions. My fav:

Quote:
The toll of dreams turned nightmare.
For me it touches a place where soldiers have been buried far from home.


Jerry



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Old 07-01-2007, 12:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terence View Post
Hi MsJacquii,
There can be any number of interpretations to my poem. If you combine the homonyms of 'morning' with the the multiple definitions of 'shadows' and 'casts', you'll see what I mean. My own intention was of a topical, political meaning.

Thanks for the read and your thoughtful response.

Terence
Yeah - Isn't that one of the beautiful things about poetry - how words in precise order can have more than one meaning - the many meanings of one word...

Anyway - just re-read this poem TERENCE and can see not only the political intention, but others as well. Really appreciate you sharing this poem with us, as your craft is wonderful!

Jacquii.



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Old 07-01-2007, 11:00 AM
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