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Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)

Another Name
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Old 08-19-2008, 03:57 AM
  post #1
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Another Name
Retribution
Just another name for vengeance…
Restitution
Another name for recompense…
Constitution
Another name for formation…
Institution
Another name for foundation…
Complication
Another name for barrier…
Inspiration
Another name for consider…
Escalation
Just another name for better…
Destination
Just another name for here…
<><><><><><><><><><>
Another name’s what we are all trying to find
How to articulate the meanings of our rhymes,
How to communicate and say what we all mean
Another name says where we are and where we’ve been.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Encumbrance
Another name for impediment…
Experience
Another name for competent…
Perseverance
Another name for persistent…
Deliverance
Another name for contentment…
Insanity
Just another name for madness…
Serenity
Another name for peacefulness…
Dependency
Another name for hopelessness…
Intricacy
Another name for all of this...
<><><><><><><><><><>
Which I am attempting to give another name
Despite all the developing kernels of shame,
Another name is what we all do hide behind
Something different, but the same when you look inside!
22/2/05 ADO

© Copyright 2005
Adam Parker



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Last edited by Lycan; 08-25-2008 at 12:40 AM.
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Old 08-23-2008, 07:00 AM
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Which I am attempting to give another name
Despite all the developing kernels of shame,
Another name is what we all do hide behind
Something different, but the same when you look inside!

Welcome unique style you have especially like the last stanza.

cheers
vic
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Old 08-23-2008, 09:09 AM
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Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
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This piece almost took on a sing-song quality - lyrics of utmost deepness, when you consider the bravado and audacity of the knowledge espoused. I'm like "Humph! How dare you analogize my ultimate retribution simply as another term for vengeance?" My arrogant voice, perhaps just a little callous, a bit nasally with a hint of elitist conceit LOL... I can imagine some responding this way, not realizing that they have unconsciously agreed with the terminology synonyms tehehehe

Nice write.
Thanx for the sharing.

Jacquii.



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Old 08-24-2008, 11:33 PM
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Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment Vic.

Thank you also Jacquii, it's meant to be about how there's so many words that can mean the same thing if twisted into the same meaning. Another slighty abstract write from me.



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Old 08-25-2008, 12:23 AM
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Hmm. I like this piece. I like how you take each word and then give it the definition we try to hide from others. It exposes the political correctness we take for granted today.

MsJ's right, it does have a singsong quality after a few lines, but that makes it easier to read, I think. I also like the break between the definitions.

There was one spot (just a suggestion):
Another name’s, what we are all trying to find

I suggest:
Another name is what we are all trying to find...or...Another name’s what we are all trying to find...(the comma isn't necessary and confusing)

hugs,
Gail



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Old 08-27-2008, 08:45 PM
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excellent penning Lycan
handshakes
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Old 08-27-2008, 10:13 PM
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Thanks as always bear glad you liked it



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