bush poet

BLACKLISTED

Through the course of my life I've rode many strange things,
like the time on old Chainsaw out near Alice Springs
and that camel at Boulia called Topupmebeer,
but my craziest ride was November last year.

Neil McArthur had purchased Thong Classic, you see,
and he gave me the ride. I was proud as can be.
It was true that my weight was a flamin' disgrace,
but with Jenny Craig's help I'd be right for the race.

When the big day arrived I was on a great high,
till they gave me pink silks and a purple bow tie.
Still I swallowed my pride with a green and blue pill,
just to help me erase how I looked like a dill.

Then I strode on outside to the mounting yard there
and controlled my emotions by saying a prayer,
but it's hard to control the adrenalin flow
when your mongrel bred mount goes and stands on your toe.

Still my focus returned at the barrier gates
and despite the cat calls from my smart jockey mates;
When the starter cried “Racing!” what went through my mind,
was when Thong Classic jumped, would he leave me behind?

Midst the thunder of hooves and the riders’ wild screams
I was jammed in the pack, but was wise to their schemes,
so I dropped back a little and let the mob pass,
but I'd prove in the straight they were up against class.

I moved up on the outside to pass Bold Eclipse
when this poncy young jockey bloke puckered his lips.
Well I kicked well away and I picked up the pace
and a divot of turf hit him smack in the face.

With the straight just ahead it was now time to move
and Thong Classic sensed too he had something to prove.
When I went for the whip the horse lengthened his stride
and I knew I was in for one hell of a ride.

From the stands the crowd screamed and were going berserk
while McArthur cried, "Ride, pinkie ride you great berk."
Then I stood in the stirrups, applying the whip,
but a length from the finish ... I felt my foot slip.

As I crashed to the ground I lay writhing in pain
when a voice from the dark cried, "You're flamin' insane!"
To my horror I saw from my back on the floor
my poor wife on the bed looking terribly sore.

She'd a cord in her mouth from my old dressing gown
and was bowed in the back lying tummy side down.
She had marks on her thigh from the welts from my belt
while the screams I had heard were from pain she had felt.

It took months to live down what took place on that night
and to stave off divorce proved a flamin’ tough fight.
I'm blacklisted from races and all TABs
and I sleep with darn hobbles strapped round both me knees.

© Bush Poet
Merv Webster
CD Blacklisted

Altree94

LOL! Blacklisted - and well you SHOULD be! I've heard of guys having funny (strange) dreams and walking in your sleep, but this is downright ridiculous! I loved it!!!!

bush poet

G'day Tree. Have a lot of fun performing this one. Glad you got a laugh.

Bush Poet

Benny

hahaha...a wonder you didn't wake up with a skillet beside your head. Eh, was you drinking that night? LOL

bush poet

I think it was just the fumes off the horse linament Benny.

Neil Macarthur actually introduced me to performance poetry [a very funny man himself] and he had a thing about thongs [Aussie rubber sandals] and had a love of race horses. Kind of inspired the poem.

Cheers

Bush Poet

bush poet

FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT CD - BLACKLISTED

1. Introduction 2. Murder Bloody Murder 3. Marion Lee 4. Blacklisted 5. The Night I Caught The Rat 6. The Passing of Stumpy Shore 7. Bert's Will 8. Who Will Sing Their Praises 9. The Genie 10. A Loowd Conversation 11. The Price Of A Kiss 12. Gerty Gribbles Dilemma 13. A Failure That's The Best Success 14. Mulligan's Mob 15. R.B.T. Blue 16. The First Surveyor 17. A Rum Soaked Ringer's Log 18. Conclusion

NOW AVAILABLE IN THE US.A.

Aussie Verse and Ballads
C/-Dave P. Fisher
Double Diamond Books
1902 Union St.
Sparks, NV 89434 DKFEnterprises@aol.com

lasher

Bush!! This whole poem read beautifully - and the ending was great, unexpected. I loved it. Great job

bush poet

Goodonya Lasher.


Bush Poet
Merv Webster