Creative TraditionalCelebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
Breast Cancer (Villanelle)
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Breast Cancer (Villanelle)
I found a lump I'm sure did not belong,
It grew so fast it took my breath away;
I dreamed that day the cancer would be gone.
Under my flesh my right breast felt all wrong:
A cyst or something likely not to stay,
I found a lump I'm sure did not belong
The doctor said it had not been there long,
Though it grew fast to swell my breast that way;
I hoped some day they'd say the cancer's gone.
They gave me drugs that left my poor head bald,
They cut my femininity away -
There was a lump that sure did not belong.
Then radiation cooked me like a prawn
Under a broiler an hour each day
Then sure, real soon, they'd say the cancer's gone.
Through my ordeal I found that I was strong,
Please don't let it return, oh Lord, I pray;
I found a lump I'm sure did not belong,
but now I'm told the wretched cancer's gone.
It took me a while to work up to posting this. Obviously, it's personal ... but you all are worth sharing it with
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Thanks so much for sharing, Beth. My heart goes out to you for having to go through all that; it's great that you are a survivor.
It's also a very good villanelle. That was the third form I tried at college and it took me ages to finish. Some say one shouldn't change the repeating lines, just the emphasis, but attitudes have changed a lot on that point.
Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
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Oh My! My Auntie finally stopped battling with breast cancer years ago - she said she just didn't want to be cut on anymore - the doctor's had taken one of her breasts.... BETH I found this villanelle not only beautiful - but since October is the month for "breast cancer awareness" - I found it right on time.... Beautiful not only because of the villanelle form executed so wonderfully - but also because of the strength of your "narrator"
Lovely share - Thanx so much for sharing it with us
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terence
Some say one shouldn't change the repeating lines, just the emphasis, but attitudes have changed a lot on that point.
Well done, on all accounts.
I understand that, and originally I had all the repeating lines the same, but I found it helped transition the poem from past to present by changing the viewpoint, so to speak. Thank-you for your encouragement.
MsJ ... your aunt is a heroine and very brave. I understand her choice. It's tough on everyone involved.
Personally I'm always aware of breast cancer, but I'll try not to bore everyone with it except in October.
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Awsome Villanelle Beth.
You are a brave and strong soul. All it needs now is a pink ribbon. I've never tried to write one of these, but I should. You all do so well with poetic forms. I didn't have any poetry classes in college. I would have taken one, but there was never any available in the time slots I had.
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Dear Beth,
This was beautiful. The form, beautifully executed, and the content exhibits a person of great strength. I am happy to read that the cancer is gone. My cousin has had breast cancer, and a double mastectomy. It was and is heartbreaking to go through that with her. My heart goes out to you and your family as well. This is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and for woman that have this run in their family, the awareness is a daily check year-round. You are a survivor and I commend you for taking it on as you have and also for sharing here with us. Thank you Beth.
Beth Castillo has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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Jolie and Kim, being a survivor is something that just happens ... like the cancer ... you don't really have much choice. What choice you do have is HOW you choose to survive it.
Anyway, this poem and my "In the Pink" poem are the first poetry I've written since before I was diagnosed ... I think my muse was scared away, but she's back ... YAY!
I agree with everyone above me, this poem is so beautiful. It shows how strong you stayed and it shows that you're now a much stronger person and your view on things are much different. I love the way you kept repeating that line, it gave it so much more meaning. I'm so glad it came to a good ending
