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Hello Moonchild!
I really do like your play of words with your poems... there's this great use of imagery that you have and words intwined with each other that flow to the next and give such great images as you're reading it. I enjoyed this poem that you have here and I think that you did a good job with the rhyming as well. This was just a nicely done love poem that reads with a tender sound to it as if being written for a lover in Shakespearean time. Well, at least, this was my feel for it, and it's like most of the poetry I've been reading/hearing lately so it was a kind of breath of fresh air you could say to read something so different than what I've been coming across.
I especially liked the kind of rhythm going on with this line here:
a rose in bloom in afternoon.
I enjoyed the play of words with bloom and afternoon seeming to feed off of one another to make this sing song kind of quality to it that I really liked saying to myself. It's that "oom" "oon" sound that mimicks the other and I just thought this sounded neat when I was reading your poem and especially since it was right in the first stanza it drew me in more. Though, your title too is extremely intriguing a nd I must admit I saw "Breast of Me" and I had to click on it to see what this poem was about. So, I think you did a wonderful job picking a very interesting title that a reader would look at and go, "Hmmmm... I wonder what that's about?" Which, I find the title to be difficult at times to come up with but I definitely liked yours. I was also wondering after I finished reading this poem I hope you don't mind me asking what inspired it?
Anywho, I'm glad I came across this poem of yours and thanks for sharing!
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