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Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
A poem for President's Day

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Old 02-17-2008, 03:03 PM
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Bridge
Bridge

I found myself before a bridge
a hand cupped over my eyes
squinting to block the sun.

The centuries divided
a challenge to survive.
I had to make a decision,

a structure built on trestles
whose doctrine’s glare
might judge me blind,

or a ships deck on which
a captain steers, a wounded ship
cross stormy sea.

Captain, O Captain, I waved.
It’s Time.
I can’t wait any longer.



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Old 02-20-2008, 10:56 AM
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Respected Miss!
May you be able to make stronger links. Kindly and nicely write.
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Old 02-20-2008, 12:36 PM
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Thank You Mohammad,
I've revised this poem some. Here's the new version.

Bridge


I stand before a bridge
a hand over one eye
to shade the sun.
~
The centuries divide
a challenge to survive.
a decision to make,
~
a structure built on trestles
whose doctrine's glare
might course me blind,
~
or a deck on which
a captain steers, a wounded ship
cross stormy sea.
~
Captain, O Captain,
I wave
It's time.



Signed By JolieH


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Old 02-20-2008, 12:44 PM
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Thankyou Miss, again well, hopeful, energatic.
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Old 02-20-2008, 01:21 PM
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Jolie

Beautifully penned with a stormy image and the choices we make at those times. excellent write Jolie
hugs kisses
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Old 02-21-2008, 08:33 PM
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I liked the thoughtfulness of the first draft, but I really admire the craft put into the revision. I feel it is a much stronger use of word choices and shades of meaning. Very well done!



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Old 02-24-2008, 01:41 PM
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Excellent write Jolie. The revisions make it clearer and stronger. It is certainly a big ship to captain and navigate between the reefs.

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