Creative TraditionalCelebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
Butterfly Hopes (Cinquain)
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Butterfly Hopes (Cinquain)
Butterfly Hopes
by L. E. Evenston
Hoping
Butterfly hopes
In brightly colored lamps
To light the way of those once lost
Along
Dreaming
Butterfly dreams
With creativity
Burning hot and deep in my core
Reaching
Telling
Butterfly lies
A fluttering secret
That wasn't supposed to be shared
Ever
Loving
Butterfly love
A glimer of true self
Followed by a wall built up high
And wide
Friendship
Butterfly friends
Come and go with the tide
Just wanting a brand new Leader
Today
Hoping
Butterfly hopes
Hidden in brighter masks
To attract the rest of the world
To me
Last edited by Closet_Writer; 04-06-2007 at 01:42 AM.
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A couple of little technical errors - because I know you wrote it in a rush between shifts of eyes! LOL!
Overall, a fantabulous poem!!!!!!
Especially love the ending cinquain.
Simply Butterfly Beautiful!
- Tree.
Bri...wonderful poem...these forms are so hard for me to conform to...but I do expect to try my own hand at them in the future. I applaud you for getting yours out there...and I love it!
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Dear CW,
With each verse, the butterfly gets deeper and deeper. There is contrast in a few that deepens each verse even more, as in stanza #3 as Daz mentioned. Just sitting back and looking at the poem as a whole, it looks like a butterfly as well. Just fantabulous CW! Loved it!!
Closet_Writer has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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Thanks to all for reading it!
To Jeez: I'm glad I was able to show the feelings out in the poem. I really struggle with that, thinking that I'm not doing enough, but apparently I am.
To Daza: I put the negativity there on purpose, showing that there is more to a butterfly than we all think.
To Benny: I actually find forms like this easier. There's only a certain amount of space you can work with, so I have to put what I say there and not all over the place in 26 page poems (No offense to those who write 26 page poems.. I just can't do it. ^.^)
To Kim: Thank you for reading and commenting on everything I've put up so far. ^.^ You're awesome. I'm glad you liked it!
You guys are all super duper awesome! ^.^
Extra brownie points to those who can guess what the butterfly is, symbolically.
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