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Carsonian Sonnet Number One
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Old 04-16-2008, 01:14 AM
  post #1
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Icon14 Carsonian Sonnet Number One
The Bard he had a way with words that came
From deep within. Dylan Thomas knew that
The forms of old were best if one wants fame
And poets hold no fear of getting fat
~
Sonnet and the Villanelle, poems paired
In grace and beauty let words echo down
The ageless corridors where truth is shared
By those who dare to don the thorny crown
~
But those inflected with the plague of dreams
Will write what comes out so naturally
Sometimes it is free flowing verse that seems
To draw it’s force from all that we can see
~
The Bards rest easy knowing that the day
Is never lost for poets shown the way
~
Mike Carson
4-15-2008



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Last edited by Kit Carson; 04-16-2008 at 05:06 PM. Reason: too many feet in last line...too much vodka in the glass?
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Old 04-16-2008, 07:02 AM
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Kit!....that is way better than my first attempt...(which I hope nobody ever finds!!!!!!)

one point....the couplet at the end....I seem to think that those two lines are of different lengths....to the best of my knowledge they should be the same...five feet...

your last line has six feet to my ear....I may be wrong that's just how I'm reading it

otherwise well done on your "first time"



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Old 04-16-2008, 12:18 PM
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Great Kit,
Soon you will be sword to sword with Shakespeare.



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Old 04-16-2008, 05:00 PM
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I just saw that on another site, you are exactly right....not sure what happened there, but I do know my focus was on another line and worrying about that. Quick fix will do it, thanks!



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Old 04-16-2008, 05:00 PM
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I just saw that on another site, you are exactly right....not sure what happened there, but I do know my focus was on another line and worrying about that. Quick fix will do it, thanks!



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Old 04-17-2008, 11:23 AM
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I like the subject you chose to
write about and
you did it well. Not bad for a first Kit.
I enjoyed muches



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Old 04-17-2008, 08:37 PM
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Thank you Jolie! I think he's fairly safe.



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Old 04-18-2008, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kit Carson View Post
And poets hold no fear of getting fat
What a great way to say starving poets!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kit Carson View Post
But those inflected with the plague of dreams
Will write what comes out so naturally
Love this! It's so (sorry) poetic and beautiful! It speaks of what we all do...dream and how our dreams, written down for all to see, affects all who read it.

Love your sonnet, Mike!
Gail
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Old 04-18-2008, 03:50 PM
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