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CHAMPANGE TOAST - Nonet
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Old 12-09-2006, 04:48 AM
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CHAMPAGNE TOAST - Nonet
CHAMPAGNE TOAST (Nonet)


burnt-orange sunset reflection on

tranquil waters flowing toward beach

sparkling wine poured in glasses

champagne-toast kiss to love

tender hands caress

wanton body

tepid winds

gently

blow



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Last edited by Echoes; 12-11-2006 at 03:44 AM.
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Old 12-09-2006, 08:32 AM
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Great poem! I love the form, especially the feeling the reader gets at the end of "fading out", especially when you reinforce it with images of a gentle wind.

The only line I didn't understand too well was "soft wanton skin", but I think that's just me. I've only heard the word "wanton" used in conjunction with "chicken" and "soup", but I don't suppose what you meant had anything to do with that. Also, did you mean "champagne" or is the misspell intentional?

BTW, nice avatar .
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Old 12-09-2006, 09:54 AM
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Hi Michael

:word_thankyou: for the read and nice comments

now that you poitned that out "wanton" may be the wrong word choice, I am using "wanton" meaning sexually wanting or desiring...

I think perhaps I will think on that and may change that line to "wanton body"

thanks for liking avatar I picked



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Old 12-09-2006, 09:56 AM
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lol, I did mispell champagne



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Old 12-09-2006, 12:23 PM
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this was the best I've read from you, I found you reaching in this one sucessfully I might add lovely poem



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Old 12-09-2006, 01:14 PM
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Echoes-


First let me say, this is the 1st opp. I've had 2 read your work. Nice job! I enjoyed the feeling of calmness, love and peace from this. I will continue 2 check on U in the future. Also, I too liked the form U used here.


V3



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Old 12-09-2006, 06:51 PM
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lovely, filled with love and deep emotion; in its brevity, this spoke volumes!
brava

write on,
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Old 12-10-2006, 06:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erikestabrook
this was the best I've read from you, I found you reaching in this one sucessfully I might add lovely poem
:word_thankyou: so much Erik, your kind words mean much to me



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Old 12-10-2006, 06:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by v3sista



Echoes-


First let me say, this is the 1st opp. I've had 2 read your work. Nice job! I enjoyed the feeling of calmness, love and peace from this. I will continue 2 check on U in the future. Also, I too liked the form U used here.


V3

so much, I app