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    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » Creative Traditional

Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)

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Old 09-18-2006, 04:04 PM
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Doesn't matter

this is the third from the last poem to my book which is now reday to be typed and sent and hopefully published

I don't recall, the suttllties of fall,
when you fall, you can recall it all,
I regress into feeling meaningless,
you recall, how I messed up it all,
When the wind shifts,
like a blazing dream-catcher,
I realize in our reality I was a tight-rope dancer,
you were so left behind, until,
you told me we were so far gone
that it doesn't matter,
I remember the facade of November,
you were so taken away,
that you were the pretender,
when the wind shifts,
time replaces our most refined melodies,
laced with poison traces,
intoxicating how we felt the tip of the tongue slip,
till we came unto the last escape,
for our time to relate that it never really mattered,
how the fragilest part of Spring,
still leaves you wondering, when will the smothering cold come,
and will you survive to hear, I had no fear of what would become,
its what we were that we were running from,
If Spring kisses last as long as Summer wishes,
and change as beautifully as fall leaves,
will winter recall, the weight of it all, as we
we're out of control, fighting for our soul to matter.
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Old 09-29-2006, 02:04 PM
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I liked this one...It was very interesting and I think it is flooding with meaning, My favorite part was

"If Spring kisses last as long as Summer wishes,
and change as beautifully as fall leaves,
will winter recall, the weight of it all, as we
we're out of control, fighting for our soul to matter."


IT's like a giant metaphor and itz like one of those things that are really sweet even though you don't initially understand it....but it makes you want to read the poem (especially that part) a couple times before you decide to even comment.....I love lines that relate to nature, seasons, or colors things that are used as senses and put into a visual to make it seems like something in physical form...thank you;



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Old 09-29-2006, 07:05 PM
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please excuse the delayed response my pc went blank just as I was sending my response to you, KingAce i'm glad you liked it its probably my best parring of feelings and seasons, I can never get enough of nature as well it all comes back to some form of nature if we write about it
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Old 06-26-2007, 11:55 PM
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misunderstanding good work.....can be a sad scene among great poets as youself. Here you have fallen into my web with a fine piece of meaty poetry! Here from the past, you work rocks my web!! I believe all should read this again! For this, you get 2 horn blows Good work here Erikestabrook!!!
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Old 06-27-2007, 04:04 AM
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a well-penned poem, good use of emotion, I like the tone as well

good luck with your book



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