Creative TraditionalCelebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
First Sonnet
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Biography: I am a mother of two and a student at CSUSM.
JolieH has not championed any arcade games.
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First Sonnet
Give my love armor, protection of will
that greed and hate can never penetrate,
and I a soft place in his heart might fill
until my dying light fall, a promise wait.
I shall forever dream he be my king,
alone in highest castle window view
landscape rich, where birds of liberation sing
from branches strong, leaved in vibrant hue.
His journeys fair, a starlight beckon shine,
a wind his spirit guide cross fields of time
precarious nature and poet intertwine
to challenge storms impervious in rhyme.
Give my love a compass to guide him home
where on his lips waits kiss of honeycomb.
Last edited by JolieH; 05-02-2008 at 11:41 PM.
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Biography: divorced, 4 children, 2 still at home...planning to retire in Belize soon!
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nomadicrhymer has not championed any arcade games.
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Jolie, this is an absolutely beautifully scribed sonnet! Your first one you say? I love it...timeless love...you will give Shakespeare a run for his "money" Honey! ...this takes me right back to the times of sumptuously gowned ladies, waiting on their knights to come from fighting or traveling. Brilliant write!
until my dieing light Here I believe you meant to put dying? as in "expiring"?
Not bad for a first at all Jolie.
A couple lines have either too few
or too many syllables but you got the pentameter right which
impresses me for a first Sonnet, most people don't.
This is a great line:
to challenge storms impervious in rhyme.
and your closing couplet is excellent.
Beautiful Sonnet, enjoyed!