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    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » Creative Traditional

Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)

Freewill
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Old 12-08-2006, 11:19 AM
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Freewill


"Peering through the entanglements"


One day as I was walking, in the woods still wet with dew,
I happened to stray from the path, a path which I well knew.
I became lost in the woods, these woods I thought I had known,
alas it was much darker here, and the trees were overgrown.

Peering through the entanglements, I soon happened to spy,
A figure staring back at me, with a greedy and evil eye.
Afraid, I almost turned and ran, then I heard it sweetly speak,
“What brings thee to me own true haunt, what is it that ye seek?”

“I have arrived most foolishly; indeed I fear by error”.
The figure then came from the wood, filling me with mortal terror.
Perhaps it was a man I saw, perhaps it was a ghost.
It was indeed a fearsome sight, claiming to be me host.

“I welcome ye, will show thee good sport, of that there is plenty.
Of food, wine, what ever ye wish, and women I have many.
But that ye have come foolishly, it was of thy own free will,
I did not seek thee me lad, yet I see ye linger still.”

For many years, I did partake of all that I did see,
he brought me wine; he brought me food, and brought women to me.
Then came the day, no longer young, I said “Please, leave be given”.
He laughed at me, “To God whilst go, and think of sin be shriven?”

“One change of heart, after all these years, thee to be forgiven?
Sinner ye are, a sinner will be, no grace will thee be given.
Ye spent thy life in pleasure’s pit, indeed it was thy will,
but now ye say ‘save me Oh Lord’ and think He’ll listen still?”

“Ye can but stay, enjoy thy self, ye truly have no hope.
For I’m thy god, thee hast no soul; it’s here that thee must cope.”
So if ye go a' walking, in the woods still wet with dew,
stray not off that narrow path, the path that I once knew.

Last edited by Storytime; 12-08-2006 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:55 PM
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oh this is mesmerizing and enchanting; it also lends itself to "lessons learned." Great rhyme and flow...Well done!
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Old 12-08-2006, 10:03 PM
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Thank you Sage! Did you wonder why our lad was so easily dissuaded from seeking God?

Also, could he be giving directions?
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Old 12-08-2006, 10:58 PM
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I think he is trying to change his ways...that's the beauty of the written word; each reader may depict his/her own interpretation. Loved this, evoke much emotion.

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Old 12-09-2006, 07:27 PM
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Dear Sid,

This was amazing. I was captured by this from beginning to end. Made me think of my own life, my own self-indulgences that I freely partake of, then want no more of. Thought provoking, a message / moral, great story, and a pleasure to read. I think I have been bewitched! LOL!!! Thank you for sharing, as I look forward to reading more from you.

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P.S.----> You truly live up to the name----> Storytime



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Old 12-10-2006, 10:54 AM
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Painted, thank you! This poem is about a young lad who really doesn't want to be saved and who would like some company. He is weak and uncreative and always looks to others to guide him. His admonition at the end is actually directions to his perdicament which he doesn't fully understand. He is a sheep.
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Old 12-10-2006, 11:56 AM
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TRULY A MASTERPIECE!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Painted



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Old 12-10-2006, 12:16 PM
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well storytime i feel like its storytime and i'm 5 when I read your poems
meaning their gifted and bright



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