Lycan

The gods above did summon us
And we thrive where we long to be,
Rolling pastures, so thick and lush
Exhibits Australia’s beauty,
With koalas and kangaroos
And our relaxing billabongs,
The one thing we should always do
Is, praise the land where we belong.
****
With the red rock standing regal
And the deserts so long and straight,
Above, the majestic eagle
Hunts prey, unaware of its fate.
Every story from the dreamtime
Explains our care-free attitude,
Cause provided that the sun shines
Everything else depends on mode.
****
With our gorgeous golden shore breaks
Patrolled by dingoes and dolphins,
For rain, so long we seem to wait
A true-blue Aussie always wins,
When beaten down by draught or flood
When the livestock falls to hard-ships,
We march on, through the pools of mud
Determined, and we’ll never quit!
****
The spirit of the Aussie man
Will never be squashed or broken,
Like the red gums throughout the land
Our strength is always awoken,
When there’s nowhere left to tumble
And we get up after we fall,
To behold what makes us humble
Which is Australia’s got it all!!!
4/11/05 ADO

© Copyright 2005
Adam Parker

writing4fun

Hi Lycan,

This would probably go down pretty well at an Australian Bush Poetry site (google bushverse). They like their poetry to have good ryhme and meter and while I am no expert on the meter thing I am starting to get the hang of it. I even got a 'virtual' gold star for my latest effort (P Platers). I told them I would 'virtually' treasure it forever. LOL. It was actually only given because I was the first one to post LOL but they did say that the ryhme and meter was spot on so I was pretty chuffed with that. I think the meter could be improved a little bit with your poem and I will change the last stanza slightly to show you what I mean. Just my opinion of course, it is your poem and you have to stick with what feels right to you.

The spirit of the Aussie man
Will not be squashed or broken,
Like red gums growing on the land
Our strength will be awoken,
When there’s nowhere left to tumble
And we get up when we fall,
To behold what makes us humble
Australia’s got it all!!!

Keep writing. And of course I agree with you. Australia does have it all.

Cheers ... Leonie

Oh, and this might be nit picking but 'man' and 'land' don't really rhyme. It's close and you might get away with it or you could try something like ..

The Aussie spirit's proud and grand
It won't be squashed or broken
Like red gums growing on the land
etc.

Lycan

Thankyou writing4fun, It's strange the critque you gave for my work is almost exactly what I'd expect my Mum would offer maybe you know me better than I think.

writing4fun

Better than I think "than" not "then" my love.

Lycan

What are you on about. the wonders of the edit button