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Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)

Limerick (about adonis)
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Old 06-23-2006, 06:01 AM
  post #1
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Limerick (about adonis)

Limerick
(about adonis)


I once was a boy named Adonis
At the time, Vietnam war was upon US
Stagnant as name games
Now there’s no shame,
Now I: fem-fatale Pocahontas

I once was a buck fatherless
At the time, no one could bother less
To give a hot damn;
It was freelove town,
I of naïve olive-branch crest

I once was a man of the haunted
At the time, Negroes always taunting
Full on tame fame
Seduced by dragon bane…
And now I: seduction flaunting

I once was a corpse of the lynching
At the time, bitter-fruit-stenching:
Shamed for being brown,
Blamed for mine own crown…
Yes – I of the caressed oak ridges

I once was a boy named Adonis
At the time, amazed… The awe of this
World in vain, maimed
Now there is but pained,
For the haunted has now become the haunting

Sometimes I still hear them mumble
My name. Sometimes I still hear
Them mumbling my name: “Adonis,
Wherefore art thou? Adonis…”


Copyright © 2006 Jacquii Cooke

------------------------------
------------------------------

**EXPLAINED**
Now Poetic Peoples - I've posted this particular poem on other forums and have had many questions about this piece - so I shall endeavor to piece it together for you appropriately:

My birthname is ADONIS -------> This poem is about me, truthfully speaking... Complicated: I'm writing as a female who was a boy named Adonis in a pastlife... The meter/rhyme flows as such in each stanza and should be read literally. Limerick form of poetry is meant to be as a melody... If you're familiar with music - the meter/beat/rhythm of this stanzas is:
4/4 - 4/4 - 2/4 - 2/4 - 4/4

Just a piece of background info: The story of Pocahontas is about a woman who was brought to unite!



Jacquii.
------------------------------------------


I once was a boy named Adonis
At the time, Vietnam war was upon US
Stagnant as name games
Now there’s no shame,
Now I: fem-fatale Pocahontas

I was once a boy named Adonis. At that particular time, Vietnam war was on the conscience of the United States of America, stagnant as name games. But now there's no shame (in knowing Adonis), for now I am like the fem-fatale Pocahontas.

I once was a buck fatherless
At the time, no one could bother less
To give a hot damn;
It was freelove town,
I of naïve olive-branch crest

This stanza = I grew up without knowing my Father... In the 70s of United States there's a group called the flower children - they were all about freelove... "I of naive olive-branch crest" = comparing myself to Jesus royalty...

I once was a man of the haunted
At the time, Negroes always taunting
Full on tame fame
Seduced by dragon bane…
And now I: seduction flaunting

This stanza refers to the corruption of society... Keep in mind that throughout we're still refering to "Adonis" -------> the subtle growth from childhood to manhood... But now as 'fem-fatale' I'm flaunting my seduction & love, rather than being taunted by corruption

I once was a corpse of the lynching
At the time, bitter-fruit-stenching:
Shamed for being brown,
Blamed for mine own crown…
Yes – I of the caressed oak ridges

Now this particular stanza refers to the slave days literally... There's a song by Billie Holiday called Strange Fruit... The tune is about black men being lynched in the South prior to the Civil War of the United States. This stanza also refers to that royalty I was speaking on in the 2nd stanza. olive-branch crest = mine own crown

I once was a boy named Adonis
At the time, amazed… The awe of this
World in vain, maimed
Now there is but pained,
For the haunted has become the haunting

Winding down the poem... Should read similar to this:
I once was a boy named Adonis. At the time I was amazed at the awe of this world. In vain people where maimed, but now there's the recollection of pain... I as the haunted am now doing the haunting (telling of truth)


Sometimes I still hear them mumble
My name. Sometimes I still hear
Them mumbling my name: “Adonis,
Wherefore art thou? Adonis…”

Notice each stanza begins with "I once..." except for this final stanza. Insinuating growth from 1 lifetime to the present one!



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Last edited by MsJacquiiC; 01-13-2007 at 09:25 AM. Reason: --System Automerged--
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Old 07-09-2006, 07:16 PM
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Reading this poem provided me with a learning experience. While it talks of personal growth it it said in such a way that forces the reader to think. I thank you for the explaination for without it it don't think it would have had it's full effect. So much history in one peace, it's amazing. For example- your reference to lady day's stange fruit, I had heard the song before and never knew what it meant. I love your writing style because of the fact that it forces me to open my perception of how I'm used to reading and taking in things. This was truly an eye opening peace for me. Thank you.



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Old 07-09-2006, 09:48 PM
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Wow! Thank you FUTUREQUEEN. I am ecstatic that I could provide a learning experience with this limerick of mine I really thank you for understanding this poem - It's really important to me: The Saga Of Personal Growth Through Spirituality & Wit.

I'm glad you liked this one!
Thanx,

Jacquii.



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Old 07-23-2006, 03:22 PM
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Ms Jacquii,
This is a deep, very deep poem here. The poem which is like a short story of truth, experience, pain, strong will, faith, and evolution. The reference are astounding in this piece. I had to read this about 3 times, for I am still truly amazed by it. This piece is very unique, and one can feel your total heart and soul in it. I am in awe, of this, truly with the content, writing skills, and the emotions that literally pour of of the piece. Simply Amazing!

Much Luv'...Kim



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Old 07-23-2006, 11:26 PM
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Thanx KIM - I certainly appreciate you comment! Really nice - What I think is the most important aspect of this piece you commented on: Personal Evolution.

I'm glad you saw that - I'm glad you like this write!
Thanx for the love!

Jacquii.



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