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Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
Quatrain

Narcissus
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Old 03-03-2008, 05:25 PM
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Narcissus
The beginning of spring and the shut door
roars like a lion the Narcissus odour
wet wind dances with the young green
further I want is you and nothing more

Has a command on the flowering season
and to touch it is like an offence
though nature has not given it a tongue
but openly talks of its presence

Beauty and power put pride in veins
everyone is timely with a joy or sortle
let me smell the blooming Narcissus
the thing more beautiful is more mortal.
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Old 03-03-2008, 05:53 PM
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very nice Mohammed,

it makes good sense, and has still depth to it



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Old 03-04-2008, 09:50 AM
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This is blooming beauty all over the place!
I just love it!
Excellent write!



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Old 03-07-2008, 10:18 AM
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Moonchild and Ericesta!
Thankyou both for the liking. Remain happy.
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Old 03-07-2008, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mohammad Ilyas View Post
The beginning of spring and the shut door
roars like a lion the Narcissus odour
wet wind dances with the young green
further I want is you and nothing more

Has a command on the flowering season
and to touch it is like an offence
though nature has not given it a tongue
but openly talks of its presence

Beauty and power put pride in veins
everyone is timely with a joy or sortle
let me smell the blooming Narcissus
the thing more beautiful is more mortal.
This is simply beautiful. One cannot read this just once. You have a unique style that captures me from beginning to end, and I am left in awe. Every line brings a power all its own. Great write!

Kimberly



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Old 03-09-2008, 07:18 AM
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Dear Kimberly! May you be happy. You seem to me a sensitive personality. Thankyou for the nice comment.
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Old 03-09-2008, 06:57 PM
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Lovely Mohammad,
This is truly a depiction of passion and beauty. I've been studying some post modern lyric and was actually thinking of using a narcissus to create a poem of split self concept. I enjoyed this very much.



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Old 03-14-2008, 07:37 AM
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Thankyou Miss Jolie, I am happy to have your nice comment and enjoying the writing.
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