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Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)

Spider Walz Haiku and Sahara Sunset Haiku
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Old 07-15-2006, 04:12 PM
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Spider Waltz and Sahara Sunset
Spider Waltz

Sweet Sustenance
Geometric pearls
Woven acrobatic silk
Such graceful deceit.


Sahara Sunset

When cherubs wake
Sienna glazed rays
African moon painted breath
Plays anthem upon clouds.

**These are non-traditional, as a true Haiku is 5, 7, 5**



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Last edited by PaintedDiary; 04-05-2007 at 07:27 PM. Reason: I composed non-traditional Haiku's, and wanted to clarify post.
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Old 07-15-2006, 09:52 PM
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wow...I had to read them both about 3 times, they r both beautiful.
When I can write like that I'll be happy



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Old 07-16-2006, 02:30 AM
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Thank you so much Ms VS for taking time to read and to show love. I enjoyed writing these. I LOVE Haiku's, as one can reveal the beauty of classic poetry in such an infinitesimally structured format (5, 7, 5). Therefore, with Haiku's in mind, I composed these.



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Old 07-17-2006, 08:43 AM
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OK, yawl know by now, I am qwaazy....Can I comment on my own poems. LOL!!!! I love these, my favorite is "The Spider Walz". I could not help myself....



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Old 07-31-2006, 09:00 AM
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I am loving that 1st haiku - non-traditional though it may be... Makes me think of a phrase I heard in a movie one time: "Such a beautiful smile she possess - such sweet deceit." I don't remember the movie - In fact I just made that up

I want that haiku! I want to claim it for my own - That was such a beautiful write KIM - I said "Ooooo!" after reading it! Such is the beauty of such irony.

The 2nd one is good too
At anyrate - Thanx for sharing!

Jacquii.



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Old 08-03-2006, 07:42 PM
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something for smile bout
wonderful use of language in such a condense form regardless if not fitting perameters of traditional ku'. i enjoyed them both, although did favor the latter the 2, sahara sunset. keep the poems in steady rotation be plenty books to fill soon now. one-
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Old 08-03-2006, 08:44 PM
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I love ku's! Such few words for a million visions. Spider walz is right down home with me, Painted. First of all, to me, this ku is a metaphor for a trap laid so beautiful that it lures the prey. I design tarot cards. Tarot by Sage is a set of 28 cards. I have illustrated the Great Weaver card. The card is a geometric spider web and has like all of my other cards: MEDITATION, BEWARE, HIDDEN STRENGTH, HIDDEN WEAKNESS, SLANT, AND POWER. I have illustrated these cards from my novel BLUE CORN WOMAN. You may view these cards at this link:
http://sagesweetwater.tripod.com/tarotbysage

Painted, you have weaved a magnificent word painting from ku that reminds me of something I do...doublesock cornstarch and lightly hit the sock so the cornstarch powders an early morning spiderweb without disturbing it one bit to bring out the lines! It is a fabulous thing to do to study and paint with more definition and clarity...

Sahara Sunset gives me a beautiful vision of a woman traveling across the Sahara atop a camel in a padded box to protect her from the viscious Harmattan winds blowing killer sand...and then the sun comes out and the angels awake for singing all of us poets on Cloud number 9 accompanied by the drumbeat of the African moon and the painted ladies...

See how many visions one can derive from just a few lines of ku? Painted, I enjoyed these. I will be visiting again, I am your friend that paints outside the lines!

Sage



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Old 08-05-2006, 10:56 PM
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