Creative TraditionalCelebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
Student (Cinquain)
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Student (Cinquain)
Student
By L. E. Evenston
Student
Pounding the truths,
Developing the lies,
Making us live in blinded lives.
Deceived
Student
Longing for time
That was pulled from the arts;
No longer having all the parts
Denied
Student
Sent among fools
Forced to follow “Leader”-
The creative bottom-feeder
Debased
Student
Just can’t take this,
Living with constant pang
Pulling back, ending with a bang
Dead
Alright, a bit of info about it so you don't get too lost. The last stanza/cinquain thing is supposed to only have one syllable on the last line. 'cause it died… therefore it’s unfinished? I don’t know. My English teacher would assume symbolism.
So anyway, my school is seriously under funded and unless enough people vote to increase property tax to get us more money, fine arts will be cut out of the program. (I know, it’s horrible! I’m writing to Oprah about it.)
Therefore, in response, I wrote this. I don’t know what I’ll do with it… but I wrote it so therefore I am happy…
The rest is put in a spoiler mark, in case you don’t want to hear it. It’s just me telling what my little phrases mean.
Spoiler
The “creative bottom-feeder” is “Leader”, and he eats up all creative energy and he’s a low life fish. So there.
“No longer having all the parts” is about my choir teacher. If they cut her class, they’re going to have to cut her too, without officially ‘firing’ her.
“Sent among fools” is how I feel every day with the uncreative, unmotivated, imbecilic fools that I’m forced to spend time with.
And the end is a warning saying that there will be a lot more problems if Fine Arts is cut. Suicide is just one of them. Drugs, gangs, drop-outs, teen pregnancy, etc.
And since I’m jumping around anyway… the first stanza/cinquain thing is because our school board lied to us and said they were going to wait until after the voting before cutting clubs… they didn’t wait. They were all already cut even without seeing if they would get funding for it. How pessimistic is that?
The End. ^.^
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Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Closet_Writer
Student
By L. E. Evenston
Student
Pounding the truths,
Developing the lies,
Making us live in blinded lives.
Deceived
Student
Just can’t take this,
Living with constant pang
Pulling back, ending with a bang
Dead
Alright, a bit of info about it so you don't get too lost. The last stanza/cinquain thing is supposed to only have one syllable on the last line. 'cause it died… therefore it’s unfinished? I don’t know. My English teacher would assume symbolism.
So anyway, my school is seriously under funded and unless enough people vote to increase property tax to get us more money, fine arts will be cut out of the program. (I know, it’s horrible! I’m writing to Oprah about it.)
Therefore, in response, I wrote this. I don’t know what I’ll do with it… but I wrote it so therefore I am happy…
The rest is put in a spoiler mark, in case you don’t want to hear it. It’s just me telling what my little phrases mean.
Dear Closet_Writer ,
This was some Cinquain! It was full of truth, fire, strength, and a message. It is appalling that the school board lied, and that the programs were cut. The Fine Arts is what kept me alive inside when I was your age. So the power behind your words are felt to the nth degree, and I could not agree more. Thank you for the spoiler as I read that as well. This was excellently written, and beautifully executed. I am glad you are doing something about it in voice, scribing about it, and writing to Oprah. Hopefully, something can be done, and I back you 2000%!!!!! I am a Science Teacher, and write, and do artwork as well. The arts are the escape one needs, the pleasure one yearns, the healing one can provide, the words one may lean on, the dance that feels our hearts, and the way to make memories last. This made me misty Closet_Writer, and I thank you for educating us, and sharing a bit of your experience in your world.
{{{~~**PAINTED**~~}}}
Last edited by PaintedDiary; 04-03-2007 at 08:48 PM.
Reason: additional comment
Biography: 31 years old from North Carolina. Married. Been Writing Since 1995. 200 Published
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This poem ends sad
but it follows the life
as we know in schools.
A lot of killings go on
in schools. It explains
a student can be going
through the day and then
gone in a flash.
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Thanks, you two, for the comments! ^.^
I know it ends sad. A lot of my stuff does. I am trying to make more of it happy, though, with my odd sort of view in it, which is hard 'cause I'm all macabre about things.
Which is fun! ^.^
Very insightful work! Yes, it does express deeply felt feelings of youth gazing at a life before them that needs to be righted...I hope they find a way to do it...everyone else seems to have forgotten that fire of youth once they grow older and older...lol. Bummer. Either way, well done and thank you for posting.
Great Write, Bri! TY for the remarks and the spoiler too!
You go, girl! That is something worth fighting for!
Write to Dr. Phil too - He's probably already got all the statistics and comparisons between schools that have programs like that and the ones that don't and those comparisons will show what kind of trouble your school is asking for!
- Tree.
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,
This was some Cinquain! It was full of truth, fire, strength, and a message. It is appalling that the school board lied, and that the programs were cut. The Fine Arts is what kept me alive inside when I was your age. So the power behind your words are felt to the nth degree, and I could not agree more. Thank you for the spoiler as I read that as well. This was excellently written, and beautifully executed. I am glad you are doing something about it in voice, scribing about it, and writing to Oprah. Hopefully, something can be done, and I back you 2000%!!!!! I am a Science Teacher, and write, and do artwork as well. The arts are the escape one needs, the pleasure one yearns, the healing one can provide, the words one may lean on, the dance that feels our hearts, and the way to make memories last. This made me misty Closet_Writer, and I thank you for educating us, and sharing a bit of your experience in your world. 
