Creative TraditionalCelebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)
Surrounding Mists
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Mists surround me as I walk;
Moving with each step I take.
The present clear, the future dim,
While tendrils shroud the past.
I climb the trail when crisis ends,
The shroud lifts for a moment
I turn around, the past is clear,
The road, just paced, revealed.
Misdeeds compel the road I stride,
I smile or cringe with each step taken,
Stay on the old, or start anew,
A choice I must now make.
My lifelong journey starts again,
The surrounding mists protecting me.
Covering steps already taken,
Waiting to reveal what lies ahead.
Last edited by butchiesmom; 11-25-2006 at 06:10 PM.
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Yes Gail I can see how you can relate to my "Last Tear"
I like how you've described the past, present and future here
with such clarity and depth. There is also much insight
into your journey thusfar.
A wonderful write and I'm glad I got to read it, thank you*hugs*
Thanks, Karen, I'm glad you liked it. Clarity is a good descriptive word cause when that fog lifts clarity is what I get. I'd had this analogy in my head for years. I was telling my husband about it when I had the thought to write it down. This came out of it.
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Hello Gail!
I really do like this poem reflecting on one's journey and what path you should take. I like how the mists surrounding you as you walk, showing a sort of unsureness and fogginess of where you should go in life and that you can't see the path that you're going to take. As the poem progresses it shows that you're more sure of where you're going and that you need to make a decision of starting anew or keeping with the path that you're now on.
I can relate to this because I'm a person who is driven to stay with something that I'm comfortable, situations or a job that I feel comfortable and safe in, yet, I yearn to try a new path to just experience the unexpected and realize what I can do. My favorite part of your poem is this right here:
Misdeeds compel the road I stride,
I smile or cringe at each step taken,
Stay on the old, or start anew,
A choice I must now make.
I feel like this rings true because whether you experience something in your life where you trip over it, cringing, or smile at it, accomplishing what you need to and surprising yourself in the process, this all compels the road or path that we take. Some may back away from something if it becomes too tough, while others may just love the challenge of it. So, overall I did enjoy this poem and thinking about it afterwards too. Thank you for sharing it and keep on writing away!
This is the second poem I'd written after a 30 year hiatus. I did write poetry as a teenager but life has a habit of getting in the way, so I didn't write another poem for about 30 years.
It's always amazed me how I could get through a crisis then sit down one day and think of word and every deed credited to me. Some I would approve, others I would wonder what the heck I was thinking. It's like a fog/mist descends when I'm in crisis because all I can think of is what to do next. It's after the crisis is over that the fog lifts and I can see the past clearly for a while.
I think everyone, has that kind of protection, they just don't call it that. I'm glad you could relate to this poem. It's one of my favorites.
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Wow! Good GOD! Wonderful! Gale you're setting the mark high for the fog machine. I think your piece has a great dynamic with the mist characteristics. It's very erie in the beginning but as I read on I see it serves a purpose. I can't help but admire the way you've used the fog to tell us to look to the past from which we came to find the sure steps to our future. Again this is Outstanding & A Mistifying Masterpiece!
