Tick-Tock ~ Haibun - Poetry in Color Forum
 


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Creative Traditional Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Poetry-Defined section.)

Tick-Tock ~ Haibun
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Old 07-13-2008, 08:26 AM
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Tick-Tock ~ Haibun

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TICK-TOCK ~ HAIBUN

It's 3:00 am and I'm tossing and turning
in thoughts of verse. Outside a crescent moon
peeps through a stratocumulus haze.
My husband, snug as a bug in the land of zzz,
snores up a symphony as if composing a new
style of music. I trudge into the kitchen in
slippers and robe to make a pot of coffee.
All is quiet except the pitter-patter of little feet
scampering across the attic floor. Insomnia
must be contagious. I turn on the TV and
wouldn't you know, a program about insomnia
channels the air waves as if they are watching
me through the screen. If only Murphy could
see me now! The rain outside pitter-patters
in unison with the drip-drop of the coffee.
I reach for the Nytol and take a sip as a
visitor curls up in my lap.

Night echoes
the tick-tock of
little feet

At quarter to five I stumble half asleep to the
bedroom as birds announce the dawning of day.
After the overture, my husband rolls over and
gently wraps his arm around me. As the morning
light seeps through my curtain, darkness never
felt so content.

Daybreaks glow
Morning dove
of darkness

© 2002 Karen Davies



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Old 07-25-2008, 08:30 AM
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Moon Goddess of Whispers

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I'm bumping this up for another shot.



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Old 07-27-2008, 03:04 AM
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Hello Monchild!

Well, I must admit I don't know this form so I'm going completely on if this poem worked for me, the flow of it, imagery, ect. I must say that with reading this poem that I enjoyed the simplicity of it and I like how this poem is formatted. Though, this is probably due to the form of poetry that you used with it but it's definitely very interesting. I enjoy the story you're telling and I like how you say that you can't fall asleep, turn on the TV, and there's a program of insonmia on. I believe that has actually happened to me before, though, when I can't go to sleep lots of times I just roll over and over like flipping a pancake.

Anywho, I'd love to hear more about this form because I've never seen/heard of it before. I enjoyed reading it though and enjoyed coming across your poem. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing away!



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Old 07-27-2008, 08:03 AM
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Moon Goddess of Whispers

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Well thank you Sarah.
Seems some people here have never heard of some of
the forms I write in and therefor can't appreciate them
the way form should be but I'm glad you gave it a chance and did.
I always like trying new things and I like variety.
The Haibun is a combination of prose and Haiku poetry.
It's a Japenese form.
I'm glad you enjoyed Sarah and thanks again for
the courtesy of reading and replying*hugs*



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Old 07-29-2008, 03:57 AM
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Karen,

This did deserve the "Bump."

I could feel this to the sleepless bone, I do this sometimes when I am restless either with a new Idea or creative think about something or when I got so much on my plate to do and try to work out how I am going to get it all done in the coming days.

Nice write, sort of agitated me in way, hope I can sleep tonight after reading it.

RR
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Old 07-29-2008, 10:38 AM
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Thank you RR and I'm glad you could relate to it.
It's nice to feel we can relate when we read a poem but
Sorry it agitated you and I hope you slept that night as well
Thank you for reading and replying!



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