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Time Thief ~ Villanelle
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Old 06-15-2008, 07:35 AM
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Time Thief ~ Villanelle
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TIME THIEF - VILLANELLE

Weasel Wasp ran away with the time.
He stole the clock and ran for the border.
We humans shall pay for his crime.

In the beginning of time in its prime,
that pest hindered chronological order.
Weasel Wasp ran away with the time.

The past will become present sublime.
Dinosaurs will eat people in quarters.
We humans shall pay for his crime.

He thinks he's timekeeper but he's slime,
a big buzzing epoch exploiter.
Weasel Wasp ran away with the time,

stealing future reason and rhyme.
He'll tamper with time and make seasons shorter.
We humans shall pay for his crime.

Father Time must take back his chime,
or else this prehistoric chaos will loiter.
Weasel Wasp ran away with the time.
We humans shall pay for his crime.

© 2004 Karen Davies



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Old 06-15-2008, 01:40 PM
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Hello Moonchild!

I really like how you include an image with your poems and the image that you show with this poem compliments your poem just perfectly. This is a unique story that you're telling with your poem and very creative too. When I was reading it I was wondering what inspired it? And is this a story that you heard/read before about this time thief the weasal wasp?

One suggestion I'd make is with this below:

Stealing future reason and rhyme.
He'll tamper with time and make seasons shorter.
We humans shall pay for his crime.

I'd suggest that since you captilized the first letter of the first line with the beginning of your stanzas. So, I'd suggest captilizing the "s" in stealing, though this is completely up to you.

Anywho, besides that I don't have anything else to suggest. I really did enjoy this poem and what a unique concept it was. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing!
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Old 06-15-2008, 08:02 PM
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Thank you again Sarah for your in depth reply to my poem
The picture inspired this poem. It was for a challenge on another
board for the picture. Weasel Wasp is something I made up.
Never heard of it before I made it up. I would take
your suggestion but I can't capitalize the "s" in that line
because it continues the sentence before it. That is all one sentence
it just continues in the next line of the next Stanza.
Thank you again...I appreciate it*hugs and kisses*



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Old 06-18-2008, 01:31 AM
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Karen, this was extremely entertaining! I love it ... I like the fact that he left his shoe behind like Cinderella...lol! Very creative!

Nomad



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Old 06-18-2008, 07:39 AM
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Thanks a bunch Nomad...so glad you liked the creativeness of it.
I'm glad you enjoyed*hugs*



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Old 06-21-2008, 02:26 PM
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Incredible Moonchild! I deeply love the subject of Time. I know that we are paying for the crimes of Weasel Wasp because alot of us are cursed into thinking we have no time when every day consists of 24hours, 1440 minutes, and 86,400 seconds. And still we claim we hardly have any time. I say we get some RAID for the Wasp right now!
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Old 06-21-2008, 04:06 PM
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Thank you TE and I agree.
lol...yes please let's raid the bugger!
Glad you enjoyed it



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