nomadicrhymer

I'm not sure what this is going to be yet...was trying for an abstract, but can't seem to twist my mind around it...or just let it come, I guess...so anyone have any suggestions? as in....IS it an abstract? or is that wide open to interpretation? haha!





Abstractness slides without awareness
confusion’s susceptibility anon
upended fairness, Inverness
wide, deep frothy fathomless
bluish brackish existence subdivided
love’s revolving door
calling sky spaced above, being blue
dare to rise, daring upon ancient gods to thrive
peeking daisy’s chatter live
bowing heads to God, He roams
butterfly covens barrage of wings tight
florescent sights invigorate
increasing, decreasing far and near
enter nether regions of Beowulf’s rage
anointed and caged pacing thunder
exigencies of war
dissolution dark artifacts
cultural hatred
collapsible civilizations
atone Grendel aloft splendorous night
monasteries murky upon moors begone.

nomadicrhymer

alanmdouglas

Dear Therese,

As an admirer of your writing, I can safely say, yes, this is an abstract. Though it is so abstract I have no idea what you are talking about ! Inverness ? Lovely town ! But why here?

I do think YOU need to get a firmer idea of where you are going with this, before you have much hope of dragging us along.

Neg review, sorry, but does it help ? That "??" says it all.

Love
Alan

nomadicrhymer

LOL! Thanks Alan...! I thought the whole thing was supposed to be like an abstract painting, where the reader comes up with their own meaning? hehehehe!

This was just a string of random thoughts going through my head...but I will make some attempt to form some type of theme and connect them.

Thanks for reading, Grumps!!

T.

MsJacquiiC

I think 1st MS N - You need a title for this piece! What is it?
As far as abstract: Definitely - some vivid images - but what does it lead to?
For me this poem seems like God walking in His heaven, contemplating Earth's destruction, thus leading to renewal of some sort.

Anyway - ROFL - I don't how on earth that would look in a painting - but it would certainly be interesting to look at LOL...

Very interesting though - some fabulous word combinations - But 1st - It has to have a title... Name it and I'll change it for ya - Be sure to send me a PM so I'll know

ALSO - be more specific in your request if you will please.

Jacquii.

nomadicrhymer

Let's see if this makes a little more sense, hmmm...Alan?

Ms. J...I didn't know what questions to ask... sorry...I'm out of my element here...just wanted to know if this would qualify as an abstract, or rather, what makes up an abstract? I know, I know, I am going to look it up...

Here is a title...please do go ahead and change...thanks!!




Ambiguity Reigneth

Abstractness slides without awareness
confusion's susceptibility anon
upended unfairness... in Inverness
lying near long mysterious Loch Ness
wide, deep, frothy, fathomless
bluish brackish existence... subdivided
through love's revolving door floats
one..."the" only...mysterious Nessie
for so, so long so lonely...
calling sky spaced above, dark and bluesey
dare to rise! daring upon ancient gods to thrive
peeking daisies chatter live...how they strive,
how they unerringly survive! for a short while?
Bowing heads to God, He roams!
butterfly covens - barrage of wings tight
florescent sights - invigorating flight
beauteous flurries, increasing and decreasing.
Enter nether regions of Beowulf's cage
anointed, enraged... pacing thunderous thighs!
Exigencies of war
dissolution in depths of darkened artifacts
cultural hatred
collapsible civilizations
atone for Grendel, hailed aloft on a splendorous night
dense monasteries, murky upon lonely moors
prepare one and all to fight.



Nomad

MsJacquiiC

On our sister-site Poetry-Defined.com - I've actually defined abstract poetry with a few examples:

Originating Website: http://poetry-defined.com/index.php?categoryid=7&p2_articleid=3

mangodroplet

Dear nomad....

This makes me think of a weird but interesting dream i'd have...

The punctuation cleared it up a whole bit...as this is an abstract, i'm not too sure to critique, but it made me think more than most poems.

perhaps a couple more capitals (like after the !) to make it less confusing...as to putting the picture together, and it helps us figure what to put what where.
I mean, like, a "sentence" is connected, and then where there is an end punctuation or capital, I might move to another "part" of the painting to paint another continuous scene. Just a suggestion tho :]

*huggles*