civil isation (harsh criticisms welcome) - Poetry in Color Forum
 


Poetry in Color Forum




Welcome To The JPiC Community.





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:12 AM.
Official Forum Language Is English. Translate Below:
Click Here To Join JPiC Forum.

Kewl Stuff JPiC Radio Daily Horoscope JPiC Arcade Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » The Critique Saloon

The Critique Saloon This is the place to post poems that you'd like to better by getting suggestions & constructive criticism. **NOTE** For formal critique only!

civil isation (harsh criticisms welcome)
this thread has 1 replies and has been viewed 370 times


Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 02-18-2007, 12:08 AM
  post #1
Newbie

mcglinnen's Avatar

mcglinnen Is The Original Thread Starter
Last Online: 10-28-2008 11:11 AM
Location: Minnesota
A/S/L: 51
Join Date: Aug 8 2006
Posts: 15 Threads: 7
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Surfs The Web With:
mcglinnen has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
mcglinnen has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
civil isation (harsh criticisms welcome)

It is a disease that corrupts,
vile in its consistency,
silently it grows.

It is nothing less than the corruption,
the putrification,
of the civil in civilization,

no longer do we see ourselves
as Sisters and Brothers,
common bound in Mankind’s' journey.

Indeed we see but ourselves,
our beliefs, our needs,
our reflections in societies mirror.

Care not for others beliefs,
for they are false
if not our own.

We are ignorant,
for we listen only
to the sound of our voices, our wants.

We feed those who would corrupt
our attention, our response,
giving them what they seek.

There was a time,
in a civil world,
when those corrupt would not be rewarded.

Today we have no rules to bind us,
to teach us, lead us,
other than those we choose.

It is the Barbarian pounding at the gates
of our civilization,
their fist bloodied and raw.

And for the first time since societies birth,
they fight not for entrance,
but to escape.......
mcglinnen is offline   Reply With Quote
JPiC Forum Sponsor Links • This Forum is enhanced with content-revelevant advertisings...
JPiC Whole-Post Ad Policy
Whole-Post advertisings are shown only to JPiC Forum For Writers' Guests. Once successfully registered, such ads will not be shown. CLICK HERE to register your 100% FREE JPiC account today and become an active Member of our Community for Poets & Writers!

Your Ad Here

Old 02-18-2007, 01:51 AM
  post #2
JPiC Senior Elite

zaac's Avatar

My Mood:
Real Name: David Graf
Last Online: 11-04-2008 01:48 PM
A/S/L: 45
Join Date: Oct 31 2006
Posts: 542 Threads: 93
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
zaac has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
i have a contemporary piece similar in spirit to this. i dont think there is anything to be critical of here. it's straight, to the point, full of passion and the cynicism and angst of any poet worth their salt. nicely done.

zaac



Signed By zaac


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

zaac is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Post New Thread  Reply

  JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » The Critique Saloon



Additional Options
Bookmarks

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Forum Jump

Page generated in 0.16255 seconds with 20 queries

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53