
-- I think this is a lovely write SETH - It's a bit of a list poem that segues into an epiphany of sorts.... I do have a few suggestions that would make this poem publishable.
1. Structure... The formatting is off a bit. The poem would LOOK better if the lines where more of an equal length. ALSO - Of course you copy/pasted the poem - and it looks like it. There's no stanzas. I think three stanzas would suffice: the opening, the list poetics described by colors, then the finale stanza = epiphone... Stanzaic formatting would make this poem so richer in depth, as the reader can then know where you want to end one though and begin another...
2. Capital letter formatting. I'm not much a fan of each line beginning with a capital letter, especially if one line goes in to the next line, making one single thought frame... I think this poem could benefit well - by beginning each sentence with a capital letter, as if writing a regular sentence... This again will help the reader identifiy with the beginning thought and the end thought.
3. Color descriptions... When listing the colors - I think the poem would stand out a bit more if you used a simile or even a synonym of the color you seek to present.
EXAMPLE:
They prey on our willingness to be
comatose. Our rainbows of pills
provide us no other way.
Crimson brick stops deviant anger,
sunset orange speeding productivity
bisqued in steep spirituality;
Emerald combats all of one’s envy
shadowed in cerulean, ensuring
one’s civility. Indigo kills reality
whilst violet hides anxiety.
Ivory towers - Provide us focus
with monotony while addressing
all that the future hurls our way.
With their dutiful drones in line,
they build their city out of reach.
Fragile as a tower of cards,
the city depends on our will.
Any disturbance and the top
two levels will fall, but the strong
foundation is well-built by hands
beautifully designed to build.
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Just an example... Notice by changing the endlines and adding a bit of "definition" the color list - the poem becomes slightly abstract and the meaning takes on a bit of subtle change, yet the depth of the poem is thickened.
You may use the advice or ditch it as you like - I hope the suggestions have helped
Again- a very nice write, though my poetic love leans toward the more abstract styles LOL - as you can tell by the suggestions... Thanx for sharing your poem.
Jacquii.