MsJacquiiC

Hey THERESE - you just select the poll question you want to choose and then just press the Vote Now button --- And like magic, your poll response is added to the poll & you can see the results

Jacquii.

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Also - amazingly enough - I just voted
I'll be looking forward to your interpretation of the poem SARTOR!

Sartor

Nomadic........Thank you for your comments and remarks on the poem. Your suggestion of changing the lines do not work for me. For one thing the first change you suggest would throw the meter of the poem off......way off. The words do not "flow" as easily when reading the poem, although they are a more proper use of olde English terminology. As for voting on a poll take a look just above my avatar where I had posted the poem. There you see the poll questions. Just select your choice and you will see a period appear in that little circle to show that is your choice. Now hit the vote now space and see the change in the poll. Thanks again for the comments.


Jacquii and all interested poets.........Below is my interpretation of the poem.


IF I SHOULD DIE
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Should Death at midnight take my hand
Have me depart this windswept land
Death from thee then, my love would keep
Wouldst thou but...weep.

This first stanza is the voice of a man/woman who is asking his/her true love that if he/she should die, would she/he in sadness break down and cry for his/her loss to her/him. There is no indication it is a man speaking but the intent will be strengthened by my further interpretation of the stanzas and remarks at the close of this reply.
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Slow funeral marching draws uphill
But to a single bagpipe trill
Neath stormy darkened skies I leave
Wouldst thou but...grieve.

The second stanza is the man describing how his funeral would be according to preplanning and again he asks if she would show grief. As if it is something he is desperate to know.
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This dry husk lowered in the pit
And e’er they shoveled in the grit
Couldst thou but bring a single rose
The one I...chose.

In the third stanza he is now asking for a favor from her. He wants her to bring a rose to the grave site. Not just any rose, but the ONE he chose for her.
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That scented rose to thee I sent
When yearning for thy sweet consent
In pages of thy book thee press
Thou told me...yes.

The fourth stanza develops the significance of the rose. It is one he sent to her when he was asking for her to consent to something he wanted her to do.
She had pressed the rose in a book and said that "yes" she would consent.
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In sweet submission thee to me
Thee know thee always held the key
That would unlock the locks of pain
But wear the...chain.

This stanza tells the reader that she submitted to him in all ways although it was understood between them she could be released at any time. The locks of pain suggest they are a dominate and submissive. This suggestion is further enhanced by the phrase "wear the chain" which refers to slavery.
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The flat dry rose still holds the scent
Of all the times that we have spent
Thy smiles, thy laughter and thy lust
Now crush to...dust.

In this stanza he is still talking to not his slave but his true love. He says in that pressed rose is still a scent and it reminds him of all the good times they have shared and he remembers her happiness and even her lust.
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Upon my casket in the grave
Let rose dust sift on this poor slave
Thee always knew the truth to be
I slave...to thee

The last stanza is his confession that he wants that particular rose, that symbol of their love for one another, to be with him in his grave. He also admits that in truth, he is a slave to her because of his love for her and also states that he knew she had always known he loved her from the beginning of their relationship.

So you see Poets, the correct answer in the poll was "Thoughts of impending death of a Dominate". The clues being the use of words like slave, chain and submission. I know a Dominate can be either a man or a woman. Although it does not specifically state it as such, in my mind I wrote the poem as the male Dominate and the female submissive. A white rose is a symbol of submission when a submissive presents it to a Dominate.

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. It is a pleasure to be involved with talent such as each of you show on these threads.

Sartor

MsJacquiiC

Hey SARTOR - nice breakdown of the poem - JPiC indeed has some AWESOMELY TALENTED poets! Makes me proud to be part of such a group!

AND to let you know ((bragging )) I indeed voted the Dominate C
Just hints of it in my breakdown of the poem. Though on 2nd look - It really could be any of the 4 choices you presented!

Very nice write - And again - Thanx for sharing it!

Jacquii.

Altree94

That word "impending" in the poll really threw me off! Although your explanation is clear enough, I still see it as a man mourning the death of his wife's love for him.

The word "IF" in the title and the first words of the poem "Should death" indicated to me that nobody was actually dying. But if not a person - something was dying - there was a lot of death images in the poem - then it must be the love that was dying.
Lines 3 and 4 in the first stanza seemed to be saying that he would not really die if his wife loved him enough to weep - that he would live on in her memory.
I got that the speaker was male from the 3rd stanza because it is traditionally the man who gives roses to the woman - a symbol of his love for her. It was also traditionally the wife who submitted to her husband.
The 4th stanza indicated to me that she agreed to marry him, thus becoming his spouse. I got marriage from the 5th stanza because marriage is often referred to as "wearing the ball and chain" and no marriage is without pain. He seems to be telling her that she can choose to stay married to him or not but he hopes she will which is indicated by him asking her to wear the chain. Also in some marriage ceremonies, the bride and groom are wrapped in a chain after saying their vows and wear it while accepting the congratulations of their wedding guests.
Lines 1,2 and 3 of the 6th stanza shows that he still loves her and remembers their good times. Line 4 indicates that her love is gone because the rose that she once cherished enough to save and press is now dust.
In the last stanza he wants her to acknowledge his love for her - his love that made a slave of him - by putting that rose dust over him.

Ah well, guess I'm just too old-fashioned to be a dominatrix! LOL! But does this explanation make sense?

Sartor

Jaquii...........Thank you for the compliment my dear..I enjoyed the wordplay and banter but more so I found a bit of information regarding how my metaphors are divined by others. It was written with the thought in mind that it was definitely a relationship between a dominate and a submissive. Perhaps to some it could be stretched into the other choices in the poll but in my mind the meanings are precise and clearly stated. Of course I realize that since I wrote it........heh, heh..........I would naturally think in those terms. Thanks Jackquii for your input.

Altree......Your last line with the question, "Does this explanation make sense?" seems foreign to me. It seems like the explanation is reaching for understanding and not quite making it. For instance, you say it is clear that no person is really dieing so instead of thinking that the speaker is merely talking about dieing you jump to the conclusion that love is dieing. My intent was to show that he was simply asking that if he died would she be sad to the point of crying. Regardless, I suppose that like beauty. the understanding of a metaphor, is in the eye of the beholder. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and explanations on your point of view to the poem. I recall that in another poem called "Romeo" you found the metaphor exactly the way I intended it. Thanks again Altree...Ya done good!

Ariono-jovan Labu

simply enchanting a canvas artist... & see you got a critique on the house huh... don't know much if this was to be voted upon against other picture spellings, but will say i enjoyed this. one-

Sartor