Libertine

The chronicles of a man, for you
To gaze upon at leisure.
The illness of the human mind,
Laid out and bound in leather.

Each dedicated verse may prove,
A portal to desire.
An inkwell and a quill entrusts,
Ideas to be admired.

Recall the days, each one in note,
They danced the dance of passion,
Or easier it just could be, to
Say when lust was rationed.

So long and gone the days that saw
The shy, the meek, the mild,
And paper pages log the course,
Of man evolved from child.

MTCM x

MsJacquiiC

Hi LIBERTINE...

I'm not quite sure what to make of this poem. As the title says - it is a "chronicle" of sorts - but I wonder if there could be some action in this poem, as well as more definitive description... I shall endeavor to critique:
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The chronicles of a man, for you ---> "Inner City" Chronicles instead of "The" - drop the "of a man"
To gaze upon at leisure.
The illness of the human mind, ---> The illness of MANS mind,
Laid out and bound in leather.

Each dedicated verse may prove, ----> "delicate" instead of "dedicated" works towards the 3rd stanza, 2nd line
A portal to desire.
An inkwell and a quill entrusts, ----> can an inkwell or a quill "entrust"?
Ideas to be admired.

Recall the days, each one in note,
They danced the dance of passion, ----> possibly name the "dance" - ex. They danced the foxtrot of passion...
Or easier it just could be, to ----> sentence seems phrased sorta weird
Say when lust was rationed.

So long and gone the days that saw
The shy, the meek, the mild,
And paper pages log the course, ----> possibly (?) ...course.
Of man evolved from child. ----> action for the last line, ex. Man evolved from child.
------------------
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Those are just a few suggestions for this piece... I really like this poem. A lot actually - the premise of it and the theme is approached with originality. I actually liked the rhyme scheme as well. It read naturally and unforced.

Hope these ideas help AND thanx for sharing the piece with us - I look forward to your 1st revision

Jacquii.