raedaljishi

You've been shouting :

Mercy Mercy

Hear my call
Hear my call

And your voice vanished
in the throat of the sand

and the crazy monk
died in your soul

and your echo came
from the endless land

laughing out loud
there is no one
no one at all

Mercy Mercy

you cannot find yours "Venus"
because "Hera" is up there

broken all the arrows love

and by them
she combs her hair


Mercy Mercy

come on
leave the no mans wine

and take with you
your lonely tomb

there is noting can live for ever
not even the God's tump

...

butchiesmom

I'm not sure what you are trying to say here. I feel some emptiness, perhaps a message which says nothing you do will make any difference? I hope you will take the time to explain. I've made a few suggestion.
Gail

(deleted there is)nothingcan live for ever


you cannot find your "Venus"

not even the God's tump (I looked this up and the definition was a clump of vegetation. I don't understand)

nomadicrhymer

I hear a sad song of loneliness and empty promises. I like the inclusion of the ancient Greek gods as well, since they were a favorite of mine to read about when I was little. Pretty funny that Hera has broken all of Venus's (Cupid's arrows?) and is using them to comb her hair!

This almost seems like a song of Solomon...but I agree with Gail...what on earth is a god's "tump"? curious...

I like the emotions that color through this piece from beginning to end.

Nomad

zaac

this is a cool abstract where metaphors and similes are counted in syllables and not sentences. the second verse kind of stumped me, but i like it. i could do some serious music underneath this lyric/

zaac