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The Critique Saloon This is the place to post poems that you'd like to better by getting suggestions & constructive criticism. **NOTE** For formal critique only!

No Escape
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Old 08-08-2006, 09:35 PM
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No Escape

No Escape

The one place I cannot escape
is my mind….where memories
of physical and emotional abuse
have taken residence.

Extreme distress has become my
One and only companion…
Along side runs anguish existing within
each and every sector of my being.

No way to close the windows
of reality. No seal can shut
them completely.

I hope one day no longer
to retain this undesirable state.
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Old 08-14-2006, 07:38 PM
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Dear J. Marie,
Wow! Unfortunetly this is another painful poem. I am sorry that you have experienced, and are currently experiencing, such profound pain. Hopefully, by writing the pain on paper is a means of coping and healing. This was short, blunt, to the point. I know you are writing your own diary. However, perhaps, not taking away anything from the poem, but maybe end with a litte brighter cord, for others. There my be others, in the same or similar situations, who possibly read your poetry as a guide, therefore, a small glimmer of hope at the end would do it for them.

Perhaps....As I wake each day, I get stronger in my faith and hope to no longer retain this undesirable state.

Take care J. Marie,

Painted Diary aka Kimberly



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