Hestoria

Take the sharp blade to my wrist and cut the vain
Cut away the tears and bring me the pain

That sweet pain, the pain that fills my empty heart
Bring on the pain and let it just tear me apart

What can bring it back? The trust and the hope?
I dont know, I need to find another way to mope.


version 2: In Pain (Version 2)

MsJacquiiC

Commenting on version #2

Jacquii.

butchiesmom

I've been there, I have the scars to prove it. The cutting isn't about suicide, it's about a way to feel the pain...any pain...a way to fill the emptiness inside. There's a void inside you which can't be denied.

This is a great poem, Zahra, it brought on emotions I thought long gone. Thankfully, I'm able to handle what came back. If you're in this situation, I hope you're getting help for it.

The last line, I bolded the second part of it. I'm not sure what you would put, but it sort of fizzles out what is otherwise a powerful image. I've bolded other changes as well.

Great job, Zahra (BTW, I really love that name!)
Gail