Nikos Tselepides

THE PARTY THAT YEAR

Five young negresses danced
but I loved the sixth one
who never showed up at the party
the young one with the bobby socks

Reggae music, palm trees, the moon
and the song was about God
being a smoker of Havana cigars
blue smoke rising and
bringing tears to the eyes

“I would like to keep you
all my life”, the lyrics said
exotic cocktails, ice, long straws
and parasols and “69 the most erotic
year” said the second song and

“Smoke sends people to Paradise
God told me so himself”, the singer
sang in a deep, masculine voice

What a year that was, how many
things, light touches, musical
rhythms and faces I haven’t forgotten.




Nikos Tselepides
Porquerolle Island, Isles d’ Hyeres,
France
1983

butchiesmom

Vivid images, no punctuation or grammar problems I could detect. I'm not sure about the term, negresses. That's a term I heard as a young girl but not any more.

This line: ...Reggae music, palm trees, the moon...brought up images from movies I've seen.

A look back in time. Not bad.
hugs,
Gail

Nikos Tselepides

Thanks Gail,

This poem was written by injecting phrases from a few songs of Serge Gainsbourg, a famous French singer and composer.

From wikipedia:Serge Gainsbourg (April 2, 1928 – March 2, 1991) was a French poet, singer-songwriter, actor and director. Gainsbourg's varied style and individuality made him difficult to categorize. Although famous in France for many years, he did not achieve his first No. 1 album until 1979, when he released Aux Armes et caetera more than twenty years after his music career had begun. Since the 1980s, his legacy has been firmly established.


The wikipedia blurb fails to mention that he became the idol of youth and when he died more than half of Paris went to his funeral. He went through a period of writing erotic lyrics for black girls. All of his lyrics were erotic and some of his biggest hits were banned in many countries for a few years. He married Jane Birkin, a beautiful English model who lived in Paris, and turned her into a famous singer and actress. She still sings.

I used "negresses" to make it sound more feminine than 'negro girls' or any such similar term. The lyrics paraphrased here come from 3 songs of his, a reggae piece for the 5 black girls titled "Five easy pisseuses", then the theme song from the film JE VOUS AIME with Catherine Deneuve and others (Dieu est fumeur de Havanes=God is a smoker of Havana cigars) and then the song "69 Annee Erotique= 69, the Erotic Year) which he has sung with Brigitte Bardot.

Some links for those who may want to learn more:

Serge Gainsbourg

Serge Gainsbourg - Biography

And I am sure if one searches long enough, one can find sites where you can hear some of his songs.

I have lived in Paris for over 3 years and have been to it a about hundred times in all, each trip 15 days or a month, so if you put all that together it will make 5 or 6 years. I was lucky to live in the wake of the subculture he created, and can understand his music and lyrics because I was there when it was all around.

Thanks for your comments.

PaintedDiary

I think you did a wonderful job in marrying the poetry of the songs with great imagery, execution and so forth. Just some small (nit-picky...ha!) things I see, that were a little distracting for me personally. I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert...these are only personal opinions and / or likes of mine.

For me, I like to see the beginning lines not always start with a capital. Makes for a smoother eye motion while reading...the following is an example in the poem.

“I would like to keep you
All my life”, the lyrics said

On the other hand...in the following...I would like to see the word "erotic" capitalized.

And parasols and “69 the most erotic
Year” said the second song and

In the last stanza...the word "Things" looks a bit odd as a capital.

What a year that was, how many
Things, light touches, musical
rhythms and faces I haven’t forgotten

I thought the period and commas go inside the quotes...I know for the US..not sure in Greece...could be different....not sure.

For me, and only in my personal opinion...the word "negresses" seemed odd, and made me stop and analyze the word, even after reading your explanation. I also thought what you said was interesting...


I used "negresses" to make it sound more feminine than 'negro girls' or any such similar term.

To me, it was interesting to see see the word "negro" as well. I don't see that word or hear that word used much anymore.

Kim

Nikos Tselepides

Kim,

Thanks for taking time to comment.

You are right in what you say about the capitals and I will change all those to small letters.
You are wrong about quotes and commas--depending on how you want to use it, the commas or punctuation marks can go either before the parantheses mark or after.

The word "negro" usually signifies a man, and I meant women, and that is why I used "negresses". I did not want to use the obvious alternative ("negro women" or "negro girls") as both sound stone-cold to me and unpoetic.

The fact that one word is no longer used today does not mean we cannot use it. Think of archaic forms like "thy" and others which are used freely in these pages and you may see a point.

Of course, there are considerations too, related to one's color and race, and I guess the poem would apply differently to a black person and to a white person. That is the marvelous freedom of the reader--his right to relate in a way of his/her choosing.

Thanks again for the useful comments. I will removed the capitals where possible.

PaintedDiary

Nikos,

If you read again...I NEVER said the word "negro" is NOT used at all anymore...I said I don't see that word or hear that word used much anymore...additionally NEVER said one cannot use it..of course one can. Not sure about the word "Negro" being referenced to a man...at any rate......this is your poem and you can scribe as you wish and use whatever words you wish, however, for me personally and only in my opinion....I do not think the word "Negresses" is poetic either. I think the word "Negresses" is also a capital. Thank you for response.

Kim

Nikos Tselepides

Kim.

Okay then, I must have misunderstood you.

Thanks.

MsJacquiiC