Time Slipping Sweet - Poetry in Color Forum
 


Poetry in Color Forum




Welcome To The JPiC Community.





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:49 AM.
Official Forum Language Is English. Translate Below:
Click Here To Join JPiC Forum.

Kewl Stuff JPiC Radio Daily Horoscope JPiC Arcade Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » The Critique Saloon

The Critique Saloon This is the place to post poems that you'd like to better by getting suggestions & constructive criticism. **NOTE** For formal critique only!
thoughts on how to make this publish worthy?

Time Slipping Sweet
this thread has 2 replies and has been viewed 108 times


Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-12-2008, 07:42 PM
  post #1
Member

Anonymous Encounter's Avatar

Anonymous Encounter Is The Original Thread Starter
My Mood:
Real Name: Thea LeFevre
Last Online: 08-11-2008 02:02 PM
Location: A small town.
A/S/L:
Join Date: Apr 12 2008
Posts: 192 Threads: 34
Thanks: 0
Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts
Biography: I want to improve my skills as an author to slowly launch myself into the publishing world.
Surfs The Web With:
Anonymous Encounter has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
Anonymous Encounter has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Time Slipping Sweet

i've been seriously considering finding publishing opportunities for short stories and poetry, i would enjoy anyone's thoughts on how to make this publish worthy?

A glittering epiphany soars my soul to wondrous heights
Widening my eyes to natural effervescent sights
It does silken my flesh to the touch of the sun’s rays
Delighting my senses to love’s tickling ways;
Lingering night still yet resides within my breast
But with pink luminescent web’s I am still dressed
My tongue savoring the sweet taste
Of your oncoming arrival-make haste!
Within the arms of my black widow I will entwine
Singing the beauty as our heartbeats rhyme
Caressing the simple, awe-inspiring cheek
Of the woman whom with I love to speak.
Eyelashes curled around chocolate sweet eyes
Age-old words tumble from my plump red lips and rise
To leisurely slip into fond, willing ears
An enlightening repetition; redundant through the years
Secure in a nest of rose petal soft skin
Let the happiest moments of my life begin.



Signed By Anonymous Encounter


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

Anonymous Encounter is offline   Reply With Quote
JPiC Forum Sponsor Links • This Forum is enhanced with content-revelevant advertisings...
JPiC Whole-Post Ad Policy
Whole-Post advertisings are shown only to JPiC Forum For Writers' Guests. Once successfully registered, such ads will not be shown. CLICK HERE to register your 100% FREE JPiC account today and become an active Member of our Community for Poets & Writers!

Your Ad Here

Old 07-12-2008, 08:01 PM
  post #2
Moderator

butchiesmom's Avatar

My Mood:
Real Name: Gail Deemer
Last Online: 11-30-2008 07:36 PM
Location: Clune, PA
A/S/L: 54
Join Date: Oct 20 2006
Posts: 813 Threads: 76
Member Blog Entries: 8
Thanks: 9
Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts
Surfs The Web With:
butchiesmom has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
It's a beautiful poem, but I'm thinking there are other members who could do a much better job of helping you. I don't write a lot of poetry and don't feel qualified to do this the justice it needs.

I will say this is a fantastic, loving, vivid, emotional poem. I could see and feel all.

hugs,
Gail



Signed By butchiesmom


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

butchiesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2008, 08:26 PM
  post #3
Member

Anonymous Encounter's Avatar

Anonymous Encounter Is The Original Thread Starter
My Mood:
Real Name: Thea LeFevre
Last Online: 08-11-2008 02:02 PM
Location: A small town.
A/S/L:
Join Date: Apr 12 2008
Posts: 192 Threads: 34
Thanks: 0
Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts
Biography: I want to improve my skills as an author to slowly launch myself into the publishing world.
Surfs The Web With:
Anonymous Encounter has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
Anonymous Encounter has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
thank you very much i appreciate the read. i subscribed to writersmarket.com so i can have a serious chance at publication and i would like to sell this.



Signed By Anonymous Encounter


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

Anonymous Encounter is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Post New Thread  Reply

  JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Poetic Colours » The Critique Saloon



Additional Options
Bookmarks

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Time Slipping Sweet Anonymous Encounter Emotional Romantic 7 07-15-2008 02:38 AM
As Time Goes Swiftly By tamm0449 Miscellaneous 0 04-28-2008 04:14 AM
The Time Traveler's Chamber Jer4clarity Inspiring Novelists 7 01-12-2008 12:13 AM
As Time Goes Swiftly By tamm0449 Creative Traditional 0 05-31-2007 05:32 PM
Sweet Madeline bush poet Creative Traditional 2 12-15-2006 04:32 AM

Page generated in 0.39690 seconds with 21 queries

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53