Terence

I – am the one true constant
an unfathomable ocean
the genesis of life
a receiver of souls.

Though forces may strive
to divert substance from my very being
their efforts are short-lived –
the weight of darkness
unbearable,
eventually succumbing
to the greater force;
my goodness
will prevail,
my life-blood
released,
spreading upon the welcoming earth
trickling, gathering, rushing back
through a multitude of faithful
unstoppable
mouths
to sustain Me.

Come,
feel the wind upon the waters,
the power within my depths,
and Know,
though you
may not realise my full extent,
you will find my Light
through the murkiest reaches.

Mysty

This is extraordinary Terence...... the only thing I might change would be to put the first stanza at or near the end or take the word ocean out of it completely. Then let the rest stand as is because I find it perfect. No changes needed. This is an exceptional piece of writing here. I quite like it.

Mysty

Terence

First of all, THANK YOU for taking the time to go back through these annals and providing some good suggestions, you are a true scholar.

It has been a while since I looked at this one. The first strophe is the impact line, to get the reader interested. My preference is to keep it at the beginning, in line with Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I agree the second line should be just 'unfathomable' as 'ocean' is unnecessary and somewhat misleading.

To my mind, I still have a problem with the transition between
'the weight of darkness
unbearable,'
and
'eventually succumbing
to the greater force'

Any thoughts?

Thanks, Terence

solo

Hmmm....Terence correct me if I have misinterpreted....but it seems to me that you are using the ocean as a metaphor for God...and the trinity...I think that it's a flawed metaphor....when you speak in the same poem of..."you will find my Light ".....God as a source of light...which does not tally with the oceon metaphor....

But I do think it is well-constructed....and has a really powerful impact on the reader...I like it!

Sol

Terence

Sol, you are right on with what the metaphor is about. You may also be right about "you may find my Light" as I am not a expert in either theology or oceanology.
I do recall reading about luminescent fish, squid, etc., that live in the deep ocean. Perhaps 'my Light' is in the wrong context since 'God is Light'. But in all, it is a metaphor, perhaps with poetic license, and the ending is saying that you will find His light, (in all its meanings), everywhere.

I appreciate you giving your viewpoint and that, overall, you liked what it said.

Thanks, Terence