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Emotional Romantic In love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum.
"U Tell Me"

On It...!
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Old 04-18-2007, 10:33 PM
  post #1
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Icon18 On It...!
I used to be on it...
But now its memory diminishes slowly dying in its flames...
I used to pull hard then deep...
Damn.. I was on it

I met my match to spark off conversations...
Overwhelmed but yet intrigued by the scent of deceptive intent...
Premonitions of yesterday flood my senses in depth...
True indeed... I was on it

Hence the first score of vision...
Focused to slow drag illustrating my steps in her eyes...
Hiatuses motions in a yoke...
Yearning the humble trinkets arrestingly beading my heart...
Orbiting my world.
Her beauty i'm addicted... Thus I feel her!

Though we rise to never try...
Against the grain from the start...
It makes who it seems there from tribal times an art...
It's in your eyes... its in your speech... it's in your walk...
Damn... I was on it

Feeling the vibes... to what i've consumed...
Heres to you...
Most righteous manifestation of a tune commenced to bloom...
Your presence in this room screeched the height only chalkboards could
meet...
I feel it... I feel you... savoring the mood you beseeched...
Yet...You uttered nothing, confessing my dismemberment amongst a battle within,
But you forget... i'm still on it!
ReG
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:34 AM
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very cool I liked the poem especially the substitute for the commas
some high quality thoughts here King



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Old 04-19-2007, 10:02 PM
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Where to start
First and foremost, I love the Avtar since it is from Calvin n Hobbes. Your words ring a heart felt moment a place that I know all too well. I love these lines by the way,

Though we rise to never try...
Against the grain from the start...
It makes who it seems there from tribal times an art...
It's in your eyes... its in your speech... it's in your walk...
Damn... I was on it


First post I read today and first attention grabber.

Take care, Hugh



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Old 05-08-2007, 02:44 PM
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Hugh & Erik I would like to thank you guys for expressing for thoughts on this piece,
I know it's different but it says something to me.
Thanks Again Guys!
Peace & Love
King
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Old 05-08-2007, 04:50 PM
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Icon12
Quote:
Originally Posted by FTD4KiNG View Post

Feeling the vibes... to what i've consumed...
Heres to you...
Most righteous manifestation of a tune commenced to bloom...
Your presence in this room screeched the height only chalkboards could
meet...
I feel it... I feel you... savoring the mood you beseeched...
Yet...You uttered nothing, confessing my dismemberment amongst a battle within,
But you forget... i'm still on it!
ReG
Dear King,

I love the cadence of this write first of all. It is smooth, yet captured my attention from beginning to end. The beauty of the fact that the memory has not dwindled to ashes yet, for you still desire to be, and be on it! I also love the honesty, and words chosen to describe your emotional battle with this. It still seems soft, inhibiting, and shy to me if you will. Loved it!

{{{{{~~~***KIM***~~~}}}}}



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Old 05-08-2007, 07:22 PM
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Ahhh...
The ever so lovely Ms.Kim!
I thank you for that break down of what was written and yep you hit the nail on the head with your observation! Shyness is an old habit that haunts me everywhere I go!
It's the one reason why in my whole time writing...
I've made it to a stage once!
Im working on it!
Peace & Love!
King
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:06 AM
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I'm on it too FTD4King!! I like this poem and the Spider ain't get'n off!! You rocked this poem!!
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Old 05-18-2007, 05:12 AM
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Hey Spider...Thanks for the pat on the back!
Any relation to Stan?
Peace & Love
King
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Old 05-18-2007, 04:44 PM
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I am with Kim on this one. I think it was very enjoyable form the beginning to the end.

~~Tee~~
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Old 05-19-2007, 11:17 AM
  post #10