lasher

Angel’s Songs

So lithe, so fragile, a delicate smile
Velvet skin so soft, scented of wildflowers
In bloom
Against the odds we crossed the mile
Like ragged soldiers from a lost platoon

Auburn hair ablaze from suns' golden rays
A taming gentleness of ones angry heart
Flaming arrows from one family weighs
From which to keep us both apart

We steal away into the night
Embracing love with open arms
Our passions burn as we take flight
Falling for each others charms

Like songs sung from angels above
It reaches to the depths of my soul
To call it anything, it would be love
She lifts me up; makes me whole

PaintedDiary

Dear lasher,

This was a very nice read that I enjoyed very much. I am in awe of those who write in rhyme, as this floes quite nicely. What captured my attention was the title alone, and it is beautiful. I could feel the music poured into this piece as I read on.

One suggestion, would be possibly to remove the word "of", in the first stanza, after the word "scented", to add more fluidity to the stanza, and allow the words to roll of the tongue. I offer only suggestions to omit words, and not change a poets words.

p.s.----->I also added a space between the words "sun's" and "golden"; hope you did not mind

Bravo dear poet,

{{{~~**PAINTED**~~}}}

lasher

I'm really glad you liked it,PD. Thank you much for the review and advice. I usually go through to pare out any useless words but, alas, sometimes they escape me..... And thank you for fixin' that spacing problem - that was one I was completely blind to. Thanx again for R&Ring, I really do appreciate it. T

Insightful_Kitten~

Falling for each other's charms... lovn it.. that always seems to happen when ur in love, u say anything and the other falls for it.. every time... if anyone else was to say something you wouldn't believe it for a second.lol. but it's ok, it makes life easier at times