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Emotional Romantic In love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum.

Dead Wait~
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Old 02-03-2008, 08:44 AM
  post #1
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Dead Wait~
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~DEAD WAIT~

I'll wait for you till stars burn out
and rivers run no more.
I'll wait for you to come back home
when you walk out the door.

When distance separates us two,
I'll close my eyes and dream.
I'll wait till time brings us near
and moon no longer casts a beam.

I've waited all my life for you
that forever seems like a day
and I will wait that forever out,
in death with you I'll stay.

You could cage me like a bird
and I would love you still.
I would wait a bag of bones,
even in death you are my thrill.

I'll wait for you till rain turns green
and earth is through with blue.
Even if I lost my memory I would wait for you.
You have a way about you that shines like Heavens hue.

When this life is through with me
and I am dead to the core,
when patience is no longer a virtue
I will wait no more.

© October 11, 2005 Karen Davies



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Old 02-03-2008, 10:05 AM
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I had thought several stanzas in this had the meter thrown off enough to distract me, but then I read it out loud and discovered how wrong I was! The flow is even, meter is consistent, it's easy to read, each line and stanza forwards the message in the poem!

I thought this a lovely, romantic, I will wait forever poem. The last stanza, I thought so clear and totally sums up the preceding stanzas. So beautiful!

When this life is through with me
and I am dead to the core,
when patience is no longer a virtue
I will wait no more.

The only nit I found was: 'Heavens hue.' should be 'Heaven's hue.'

Great job, Moonchild!
Gail
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Old 02-03-2008, 12:30 PM
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Hi Gail,

I'm glad you went through and read and reread
even though you stumbled at first to see it's really not so bad.
I thank you for that and your kind reply. I'm glad you liked it
and enjoyed. Thanks for pointing out that little typo, will fix it.

Take Care,
Karen



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Old 02-03-2008, 09:58 PM
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I really like this. I like the devotion to the companion and the understanding nature of the writer. Too many people give up these days. I admire this person. I've been waiting a long time for my boyfriend to return. Part of me thinks kind like this, part of me wants to quit, but I am still waiting... lol



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Old 02-04-2008, 02:42 AM
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Wow Awesome!!!!!!!!!! Very well written I must say.... and yes it does read outloud very well. I think this is going in my favorites

Mysty



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Old 02-04-2008, 08:59 AM
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Thank you Jolie.
He is in the war?
Please do wait as the old saying,
"good things come to those who wait"
may be true for you.
Sometimes it's worth it.
Glad you liked my poem



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Old 02-04-2008, 02:18 PM
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and so you dance upon you words with a Love so true MoonChild! I Love this work you have formed though time! Please continue to produce such fine works that I might continue to feed!



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Old 02-04-2008, 03:29 PM
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Moon Goddess of Whispers

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Thank you Mysty.
I am glad it is among your favs!



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Old 02-04-2008, 03:31 PM
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