GrimmersAngel07

-Emotions She Wrote-
Emotions she wrote,
Emotions she spoke,
Emotions she knew...
Dwelling on the past,
Finding it hard to try not to...
Trying to help others not to see the real her,
Trying not to show them what lies beneath
The emotions that almost killed her...
Given half a chance, she'd take it all back...
She can't say she regrets anything,
But regrets anything that had never been.
She let her parents shelter her
Until the day she left,
Not a minute of praise from them...
Letting her past control her
She tries her hardest to let go,
Let go of the lies,
And her parents playing with her heart.

It was all in the emotions she wrote,
In the words she never spoke...
It was all in the emotions she never knew
That she felt...
She never did anything with them,
And flew the coop.
She became happy
And her parents jealousy rose
Regretting parts of her past
All within the emotions
She wrote
And never again spoke
Of the emotions she knew.

The emotions that were never spoke,
Were in the emotions her heart wrote.

Mysty

Ahh Holly .... this has the potential to be so spectacular..... you have some really excellent lines. If you would like a full critique with examples of how to modify, please place in the Critique section? I would so love to show you how it could be even more powerful. It is something a lot of folks could say to their parents. Not that they would understand......

Not everyone is lucky enough to know unconditional love.



Mysty

Terence

Holly, sounds to me like the subject found her release in poetry. As Mysty said, you have the makings of a really good poem - true emotion, good subject material. Some of the repetition is good, some is overdone. 'Critique' would help you.

Well done, Terence

Bear

wonderful poem your are a gifted writer and as mysty said just a little help your poem could be a masterpiece
hugs kisses
bear

GrimmersAngel07

Thanks for the comments and all but if I wanted my pieces critiqued I would have put them in the critique board. I like sharing my originals.